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CardShark Content - Beatdown Bedford Crenshaw (3/30/2006)

The Un-sets, Unglued and Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d, were a great deal of fun. Sadly, many of the cards that were published in those sets are not programmable for MTGO. (Denimwalk, anyone?) So, is MTGO destined to be unwacky? Not at all; in fact, it is already wacky, if you know where to look. In this article we will learn what cards already in existence online are wacky enough for you to “unhinge” MTGO this April 1st. In effect, we’ll be creating MTGU: Magic the Gathering Unline. The prices quoted for these cards were the lowest prices for these online cards here on Cardshark as of Monday, March 27th.


THOSE INTENDED FOR UN
There were several cards printed that were originally intended for Unglued 2, which was never printed (Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d is a separate entity). These aren’t as inherently amusing, but they do fit into our Unlined set.

Invasion Djinns
Yep, these were intended for Unglued 2. They are -2/-2 if they share a color with most of your creatures. They range from 15 to 50 cents, so they are quite economical to buy just to celebrate April 1st.

Split Cards
If ever there were cards that just screamed that they were intended for an Un-set, you have the split cards. There are 10 in all, and range in price from $0.70 to $6.45.

Artificial Evolution
Artificial Evolution
Artificial EvolutionSet: Onslaught
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
R
Number:
67
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one creature type with another. The new creature type can't be Legend or Wall. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)
($0.60)
Want to turn that Goblin Piledriver
Goblin Piledriver
Goblin PiledriverSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin
Rarity:
R
Number:
205
Artist:
Matt Cavotta
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
Protection from blue. Whenever Goblin Piledriver attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each. other attacking Goblin.
into a Penguin Piledriver? Want that Warchief to only work on DanDans? Lots of fun opportunities with this card.

Atogatog
Atogatog
AtogatogSet: Odyssey
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Atog Legend
Rarity:
R
Number:
286
Artist:
Ron Spears
Power:
5
Toughness:
5
Text:
Sacrifice an Atog: Atogatog gets +X/+X until end of turn where X is the sacrificed Atog's power.
($1.05)
The one card in this section that you can actually build a deck around, especially if you also use Artificial Evolution
Artificial Evolution
Artificial EvolutionSet: Onslaught
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
R
Number:
67
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one creature type with another. The new creature type can't be Legend or Wall. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)
and Threaten
Threaten
ThreatenSet: Onslaught
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
241
Artist:
Mark Brill
Text:
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.
. Throw in a few atogs that are already online, and you are ready to go. Is there any doubt that this card was intended for Unglued 2?

Barrin
Barrin
BarrinSet: Vanguard
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
1
Artist:
Christopher Rush
Power:
+0
Toughness:
+6
Text:
You may sacrifice a permanent to return any creature to its owner's hand. Play this ability as an instant.
’s Unmaking ($0.05)
Yep, Invasion became the home for a lot of Unglued 2 rejects. Once again, not wacky; just wordy. It’s only a nickel, so it won’t be hard on one’s budget.

Mindslaver
Mindslaver
MindslaverSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
6
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Legendary Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
206
Artist:
Glen Angus
Text:
4, T, Sacrifice Mindslaver: You control target player's next turn. (You see all cards that player could see and make all decisions for the player. He or she doesn't lose life because of mana burn.)

Imagine if Unglued 2 was actually printed, and Mindslaver
Mindslaver
MindslaverSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
6
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Legendary Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
206
Artist:
Glen Angus
Text:
4, T, Sacrifice Mindslaver: You control target player's next turn. (You see all cards that player could see and make all decisions for the player. He or she doesn't lose life because of mana burn.)
was in it instead of Mirrodin. We would all think of it as a very amusing card. Imagine…actually performing mind-control on our opponent, regardless if they are wearing a tinfoil hat. Teehee! However, this card was not printed in a fun set; it was printed in the unfun set called Mirrodin, where people quickly grew to hate it. Some were driven away from Magic just because of this card. It may be a cheap card now, costing only $1.75, but try playing this card in casual and expect a lot of people quitting the game in disgust over the fact that they can’t slap you raw for playing that card.


THOSE THAT FIT THE THEME
Then there are the cards that don’t have wacky mechanics, but their overall theme is amusing.

Goblins
Especially in their flavor text, goblins tend to be amusing in the way a typical Adam Sandler character is. However, since Goblins tend to be a viable deck choice, a lot of their casual appeal is gone. However, build a deck around Goblin Spy
Goblin Spy
Goblin SpySet: Invasion
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin
Rarity:
U
Number:
145
Artist:
Scott M. Fischer
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Play with the top card of your library revealed.
($0.45) and you will definitely have a wacky deck ready for April 1. Some suggestions: Call of the Wild
Call of the Wild
Call of the WildSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
218
Artist:
Brom
Text:
2GG: Reveal the top card of your library. If it's a creature card, put it into play. Otherwise, put it into your graveyard.
($0.30), Vex
Vex
VexSet: Darksteel
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
36
Artist:
Brian Snoddy
Text:
Counter target spell. That spell's controller may draw a card.
aW5nIEFyY2FuaXg= ($0.28), Predict
Predict
PredictSet: Odyssey
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
94
Artist:
Rebecca Guay
Text:
Name a card, then put the top card of target player's library into his or her graveyard. If that card is the named card, you draw two cards. Otherwise, you draw a card.
($0.10), and Skirk Drill Sergeant
Skirk Drill Sergeant
Skirk Drill SergeantSet: Legions
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin
Rarity:
U
Number:
112
Power:
2
Toughness:
1
Text:
Whenever Skirk Drill Sergeant or another Goblin is put into a graveyard
from play, you may pay 2R. If you do, reveal the top card of your library.
If it's a Goblin card, put it into play. Otherwise, put it into your graveyard.
($0.10).

Squirrels
An army of squirrels is still and army, or so they say. Splurge for a Nut Collector
Nut Collector
Nut CollectorSet: Odyssey
Cost:
6
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Druid
Rarity:
R
Number:
259
Artist:
Christopher Moeller
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token into play. Threshold - All Squirrels get +2/+2. (You have threshold as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.)
($4.74), and then send these rat cousins out to attack your enemy. Lots of fun.

Cultural Exchange
Cultural Exchange
Cultural ExchangeSet: Odyssey
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
79
Artist:
Daren Bader
Text:
Choose any number of creatures target player controls. Choose the same number of creatures another target player controls. Those players exchange control of those creatures. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)
($1.13)
Awwwwww, how cute this card is. The cuteness of the artwork, plus the fact you can trade your tokens for their Kamigawa dragons just leads to fun.

Jester’s Cap
It’s not the sombrero, but Jesters are fitting for the holiday.


THOSE THAT ARE WACKY
Finally, there are cards that are just plain wacky. Some of these just scream that they should be in an Un-set, while others tend to cause the kind of confusion that you need a computer to figure out.

Alternate Win-Conditions (AWC)
You are supposed to win games by reducing your opponent’s life to 0, with the occasion milling or poisoning win. But winning the game in any other way is definitely wacky. The most obvious one is Battle of Wits
Battle of Wits
Battle of WitsSet: Odyssey
Cost:
5
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
69
Artist:
Mark Brill
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 200 or more cards in your library, you win the game.
($0.35), but the tutoring required to make such a deck work is nonexistent. Other possibilities are Coalition Victory
Coalition Victory
Coalition VictorySet: Invasion
Cost:
8
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
241
Artist:
Eric Peterson
Text:
You win the game if you control a land of each basic land type and a creature of each color.
($5.99), Chance Encounter
Chance Encounter
Chance EncounterSet: Odyssey
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
182
Artist:
Mark Brill
Text:
Whenever you win a coin flip, put a luck counter on Chance Encounter. At the beginning of your upkeep, if Chance Encounter has ten or more luck counters on it, you win the game.
($2.00), Mortal Combat
Mortal Combat
Mortal CombatSet: Torment
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
71
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, if twenty or more creature cards are in your graveyard, you win the game.
($0.55), Test of Endurance
Test of Endurance
Test of EnduranceSet: Judgment
Cost:
4
Color:
White
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
29
Artist:
Mike Ploog

Text:
At the begining of your upkeep, if you have 50 or more life, you win the game.
($1.50), Epic Struggle
Epic Struggle
Epic StruggleSet: Judgment
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
112
Artist:
Greg & Tim Hildebrandt

Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control 20 or more creatures, you win the game.
($0.61), and Darksteel Reactor
Darksteel Reactor
Darksteel ReactorSet: Darksteel
Cost:
4
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
114
Artist:
Kev Walker
Text:
Darksteel Reactor is indestructible. (Destroy effects and lethal damage don't destroy it.) At the beginning of your upkeep you may put a charge counter on Darksteel Reactor. When Darksteel Reactor has twenty or more charge counters on it you win the game.
($1.35). Coalition Victory
Coalition Victory
Coalition VictorySet: Invasion
Cost:
8
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
241
Artist:
Eric Peterson
Text:
You win the game if you control a land of each basic land type and a creature of each color.
is very possible to do with the new duals, but that’s an expensive deck and wacky decks should hopefully be cheap. The rest are certainly workable, but the only one that is really amusing would be using the Reactor.

Anything coin-flipping
With the lack of die rolls, coin flipping is the chaotic method of choice. There are four which are in current sets: Mana Clash
Mana Clash
Mana ClashSet: Fourth Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Text:
You and target opponent each flip a coin. Mana Clash deals 1 damage to any player whose coin comes up tails. Repeat this process until both players' coins come up heads at the same time.
($0.40), Tide of War
Tide of War
Tide of WarSet: Champions of Kamigawa
Cost:
6
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
194
Artist:
Wayne Reynolds
Text:
Whenever one or more creatures blocks, flip a coin. If you win the flip, the defending player sacrifices all blocking creatures. Otherwise, the attacking player sacrifices the blocked creatures.
($0.25), Molten Sentry
Molten Sentry
Molten SentrySet: Ravnica City of Guilds
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
R
Number:
136
Artist:
Kev Walker
Power:
*
Toughness:
*
Text:
As Molten Sentry comes into play, flip a coin. If the coin comes up heads, Molten Sentry comes into play as a 5/2 creature with haste. If it comes up tails, Molten Sentry comes into play as a 2/5 creature with defender.
($0.25), and Stitch in Time
Stitch in Time
Stitch in TimeSet: Guildpact
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Rarity:
R
Number:
132
Text:
Flip a coin. If you win the flip, take an extra turn after this one.
($2.92), and scores of others in older sets. In fact, these are almost too predictable for a great Unline set.

Confusion in the Ranks
Confusion in the Ranks
Confusion in the RanksSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
87
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Text:
Whenever an artifact, creature, or enchantment comes into play, its controller chooses target permanent another player controls that shares a type with it. Exchange control of those permanents.
($0.25)
I once thought this would be a potential card against COPs. Apparently it wasn’t to be. Still, being able to steal opponent’s card while giving away your own is guaranteed to be loads of fun.

Door to Nothingness
Door to Nothingness
Door to NothingnessSet: Fifth Dawn
Cost:
5
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
115
Text:
Door to Nothingness comes into play tapped. WWUUBBRRGG, Tap, Sacrifice Door to Nothingness: Target player loses the game.
($0.80)
This is similar to the AWC cards, except this doesn’t necessarily win the game for you if you are playing multiplayer. If you get this to work, please share with me the decklists.

Endless Whisper ($0.45)
I liked Ritual of the Machine
Ritual of the Machine
Ritual of the MachineSet: Alliances
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Sacrifice a creature to gain control of target non-black, non-artifact creature.
back in the day, so I am always happy to see black able to steal critters. In an Orzhov deck, with Wrath of God
Wrath of God
Wrath of GodSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
White
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Quinton Hoover
Text:
All creatures in play are buried.
, this could add lots of mass confusion to one’s games, which is perfect for April 1.

Eye of the Storm
Eye of the Storm
Eye of the StormSet: Ravnica City of Guilds
Cost:
7
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
48
Artist:
Hideaki Takamura
Text:
Whenever a player plays an instant or sorcery card, remove it from the game. Then that player copies each instant or sorcery card removed from the game with Eye of the Storm. For each copy, the player may play the copy without paying its mana cost.
($0.95)
It can get rather ridiculous with all the instants and sorceries that can be flung around. I saw a Vanguard deck with the Serra Angel
Serra Angel
Serra AngelSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
5
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Angel
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flying Attacking does not cause Serra Angel to tap.
avatar and this card, and it was just plain silly. Perhaps an Izzet deck based around this card? After all, you might notice that a lot of these weird cards in this article are either blue or red.

Goblin Game
Goblin Game
Goblin GameSet: Planeshift
Cost:
7
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
61
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Each player hides at least one object, then all players reveal them simultaneously. Each player loses life equal to the number of objects he or she revealed. The player who revealed the fewest objects then loses half his or her life, rounded up. If two or more players are tied for fewest, each loses half his or her life, rounded up.
($1.33)
Wow, I feel like I just read War and Peace just reading this card. If you were ever worried that you weren’t getting use out of that Bachelor’s in Psychology, here’s the card for you.

Illicit Auction
Illicit Auction
Illicit AuctionSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
190
Artist:
Scott Kirschner
Text:
Choose target creature. Each player may bid life for control of that creature. You begin the bidding at 0. Proceeding in turn order, each player may top the high bid. The auction ends when the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature.
($2.00)
The ancestor to Threaten
Threaten
ThreatenSet: Onslaught
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
241
Artist:
Mark Brill
Text:
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.
, this card allows for permanent control. Base it in a Boros deck so you can gain life, and it will be hard for your opponent to keep their best critters.

Mistform Ultimus
Mistform Ultimus
Mistform UltimusSet: Legions
Cost:
4
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Illusion Legend
Rarity:
R
Number:
47
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Mistform Ultimus is every creature type (even if this card isn’t in play).
Mistform Ultimus may attack as though it weren’t a Wall.
($0.49)
C’mon, you know that this card probably should have been in an Un-set, not a tourney legal one. Then again, a lot of people wish that Legions wasn’t tourney legal, so that they wouldn’t have had to buy any of its cards. Still, it’s a very fun card, and you just have to love a card that screws up so many trivia questions.

Phage the Untouchable
Phage the Untouchable
Phage the UntouchableSet: Legions
Cost:
7
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Minion Legend
Rarity:
R
Number:
78
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
When Phage the Untouchable comes into play, if you didn’t play it from your
hand, you lose the game.
Whenever Phage deals combat damage to a creature, destroy that creature. It
can’t be regenerated.
Whenever Phage deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game.
($1.50)
One of the most famous legends of the game, many Johnnies have tried to break this card. Normally you want to use Stifle
Stifle
StifleSet: Scourge
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
R
Number:
52
Artist:
Dany Orizio
Text:
Counter target activated or triggered ability.
to do it. Since many have already tried building decks around Phage, why not try something else for a wacky deck?

Thieves’ Auction ($0.25)
Someone, please oh please use this in multiplayer this weekend. Put in some Seething Song
Seething Song
Seething SongSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
104
Artist:
Martina Pilcerova
Text:
Add RRRRR to your mana pool.
s, limit the number of permanents you actually use, and then enjoy. Maybe use a mostly land deck, with enough red mana acceleration to get it to work, and you are off. Would be fun in a 1-on-1 game as well.

Warp World
Warp World
Warp WorldSet: Ravnica City of Guilds
Cost:
8
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
150
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Text:
Each player shuffles all permanents he or she owns into his or her library, then reveals that many cards from the top of his or her library. Each player puts all artifact, creature, and land cards revealed this way into play, then puts all enchantment cards revealed this way into play, then puts all cards revealed this way that weren't put into play on the bottom of his or her library in any order.
($0.70)
Wow, another War and Peace card. This is less abusable than Thieves’ Auction, and more expensive, so I recommend using the Auction instead of this one.


There you have it, the Unline cards. Come this Saturday, have fun as you wreck havoc in the casual rooms with your wacky decks. Please email me your decks, and I’ll give fame to the best of the best.


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