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CardShark Content - Chris Morling (11/21/2004)

For a change, I've decided to comment on every common in the new Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d set..

I'm going to assume that
a) You'll do whatever you have to do to make a card you can control work. (i.e., wear a glove to touch Vile Bile
Vile Bile
Vile BileSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
65
Artist:
Tony Szczudlo
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
2.5
Text:
Whenever a player’s skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.
)
b) Your opponent will do everything to ensure it doesn't. (i.e., scream for Red Hot Hottie
Red Hot Hottie
Red Hot HottieSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
C
Number:
86
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Power:
2
Toughness:
5
Text:
Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It has “At the end of each turn, sacrifice this creature unless you scream ‘Aaah!’ at the top of your lungs.”
, not get Gotcha'ed)

One thing I do frequently in this review is say, ´´if this card did X, then . . .´´ Many of these cards do unusual things, and I think it helps to compare it to a more usual thing to understand whether it's good.

For instance, say I have a 1/1 for 1U that has the text, ´´If ~ becomes blocked, you win the game.´´ Baring Lure
Lure
LureSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
All creatures able to block enchanted creature do so.
, this is just the same as being unblockable (it's a little worse, because of Stifle
Stifle
StifleSet: Scourge
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
R
Number:
52
Artist:
Dany Orizio
Text:
Counter target activated or triggered ability.
). An unblockable 1/1 for 1U is unplayable, so this is unplayable.

Card Name: Artful Looter
Artful Looter
Artful LooterSet: Unhinged
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
25
Artist:
Heather “Erica Gassalasca-Jape” Hudson
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter.

Cost: 2U
Type: Creature ¬ Human Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 1/2
Rules Text: T: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter
Artful Looter
Artful LooterSet: Unhinged
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
25
Artist:
Heather “Erica Gassalasca-Jape” Hudson
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter.
.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Let's ignore ´´that shares an artist with another permanent you control,´´ and pretend it untaps for any permanent. Is this playable in that case? It's probably okay, but not great. You'd need plenty of permanents (i.e., not just land) and a pretty decent reason to search through your library (especially since discarding land cards will be suboptimal, since they'll almost definitely be a free untap). This card shares it's artist with Basking Rootwalla
Basking Rootwalla
Basking RootwallaSet: Torment
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Lizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
121
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
1G: Basking Rootwalla gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Play this ability only once each turn. Madness 0
, and since Arrogant Wurm
Arrogant Wurm
Arrogant WurmSet: Torment
Cost:
5
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Wurm
Rarity:
U
Number:
120
Artist:
John Avon
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Trample. Madness 2G
was drawn by John Avon (who has drawn Forest
Forest
ForestSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool.
s and Island
Island
IslandSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add U to your mana pool.
s) it might be worth considering in a U/G Madness deck. It's also a potentially powerful effect for a combo deck with permanents.

Card Name: AWOL
AWOL
AWOLSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
2
Artist:
Stephen Tappin
Text:
Remove target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Cost: 2W
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Remove
Remove
RemoveSet: Portal Second Age
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Play Remove only after you're attacked, before you declare blockers.Return any one attacking creature to its owner's hand.
target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I would suggest that there aren't enough decks where removing one attacking creature is useful to make this card playable in the maindeck, but I'd guess that it's a decent sideboard choice for any deck that can run it.

Card Name: Bad Ass
Bad Ass
Bad AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
49
Artist:
Thomas M. Baxa
Power:
3.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
1B, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.

Cost: 2BB
Type: Creature ¬ Donkey Zombie
Pow/Tgh: 3{1/2}/1
Rules Text: 1B, Growl: Regenerate
Regenerate
RegenerateSet: Magic 2010
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
202
Artist:
Rebecca Guay
Text:
Regenerate target creature. (The next time that creature would be destroyed this turn, it isn't. Instead tap it, remove all damage from it, and remove it from combat.)
Bad Ass
Bad Ass
Bad AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
49
Artist:
Thomas M. Baxa
Power:
3.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
1B, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.
.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Would you pay 4 mana for a 3/1 regenerator? This is a tiny bit better than that. Twisted Abomination
Twisted Abomination
Twisted AbominationSet: Scourge
Cost:
6
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie Mutant
Rarity:
C
Number:
76
Artist:
Darren Bader
Power:
5
Toughness:
3
Text:
B : Regenerate Twisted Abomination
Swampcycling
is a better finisher, I think, and 4 mana is too much for aggro-black.

Card Name: Bloodletter
Bloodletter
BloodletterSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
50
Artist:
Daren Bader
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Cost: 2B
Type: Creature ¬ Zombie
Pow/Tgh: 2/3
Rules Text: When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter
Bloodletter
BloodletterSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
50
Artist:
Daren Bader
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.
. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

If you had total control over the ability, it would be a good sideboard card in black control decks, serving as Pestilence
Pestilence
PestilenceSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Jesper Myrfors
Text:
B: Do 1 damage to each creature and to both players.If there are no creatures in play at the end of any turn, Pestilence must be discarded.
5+ and as a mediocre finisher. Looking at ElfClamp, key cards include Skullclamp
Skullclamp
SkullclampSet: Darksteel
Cost:
1
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Sub Type:
Equipment
Rarity:
U
Number:
140
Artist:
Luca Zontini
Text:
Equipped creature gets +1/-1. Whenever equipped creature is put in a graveyard from play, draw two cards. Equip 1 (1: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)
, Llanowar Elves
Llanowar Elves
Llanowar ElvesSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elves
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool. This ability is played as an interrupt.
, Priest of Titania
Priest of Titania
Priest of TitaniaSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
270
Artist:
Rebecca Guay
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool for each Elf in play. Play this ability as a mana source.
, Timberwatch Elf
Timberwatch Elf
Timberwatch ElfSet: Legions
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
140
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of
Elves in play.
, Wirewood Herald
Wirewood Herald
Wirewood HeraldSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
302
Artist:
Alex Horley-Orlandelli
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
When Wirewood Herald is put into a graveyard from play, you may search your library for an Elf card. If you do, reveal that card and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
, Quirion Elves
Quirion Elves
Quirion ElvesSet: Mirage
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elves
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
When you play Quirion Elves, choose a color.T: Add one mana of the chosen color to your mana pool. Play this ability as a mana source.T: Add G to your mana pool. Play this ability as a mana source.
, and Fyndhorn Elves
Fyndhorn Elves
Fyndhorn ElvesSet: Ice Age
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elves
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Justin Hampton
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool. Play this ability as an interrupt.
, but no doubles! White weenie is a little better (the Soltaris, perhaps) and Goblins might be better still, but it's still hard to get this to work for you. Gangrenous Zombies
Gangrenous Zombies
Gangrenous ZombiesSet: Ice Age
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombies
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Brian Snoddy
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Sacrifice Gangrenous Zombies to have it deal 1 damage to each creature and player. If you control any snow-covered swamps, Gangrenous Zombies instead deals 2 damage to each creature and player.
is probably a stronger choice, and it hasn't yet seen play.

Card Name: Brushstroke Paintermage
Brushstroke Paintermage
Brushstroke PaintermageSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
27
Artist:
Ron "Don't You Dare Change Me" Spears
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
T: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Cost: 3U
Type: Creature ¬ Human Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 2/3
Rules Text: T: Target permanent’s artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Nope. Artist isn't important enough.

Card Name: Bursting Beebles
Bursting Beebles
Bursting BeeblesSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Beeble
Rarity:
C
Number:
28
Artist:
David "Beeblemania" Martin
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Cost: 2U
Type: Creature ¬ Beeble
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Bursting Beebles
Bursting Beebles
Bursting BeeblesSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Beeble
Rarity:
C
Number:
28
Artist:
David "Beeblemania" Martin
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.
is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This isn't playable if it's always unblockable.

Card Name: Cardpecker
Cardpecker
CardpeckerSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Bird
Rarity:
C
Number:
4
Artist:
Richard Sardinha
Power:
1.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

Cost: 1W
Type: Creature ¬ Bird
Pow/Tgh: 1{1/2}/1
Rules Text: Flying
Gotcha ¬ Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Cardpecker
Cardpecker
CardpeckerSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Bird
Rarity:
C
Number:
4
Artist:
Richard Sardinha
Power:
1.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.
from your graveyard to your hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

1{1/2} is significantly better than 1 (when you're the only one with Fliers, at least) but worse than 2. I think this needs to be returning to be good. Assuming it won't return, it's not good enough.

Card Name: Carnivorous Death-Parrot
Cost: 1U
Type: Creature ¬ Bird
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Saying ´´Save a kill spell for this guy´´ is worth a mana in the castingCost, I think. I would guess that this is the best aggro blue creature for 2 mana printed as a common. If aggro blue is viable, this would presumably be in it.

Card Name: Cheap Ass
Cheap Ass
Cheap AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Townsfolk
Rarity:
C
Number:
5
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
1
Toughness:
3.5
Text:
Spells you play cost 5 less to play.

Cost: 1W
Type: Creature ¬ Donkey Townsfolk
Pow/Tgh: 1/3{1/2}
Rules Text: Spells you playCost 1/2 less to play.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

It's almost a 1/4 for 2 mana. That's great. Having 2 of these will speed you up (the firstCosts you 1/2 a life if you only play 1 spell in a turn.) I'd say that it's not possible to build a deck where the drawback consistently becomes an advantage, and a 1/4 for 2 is
great, but not good enough to be played even without the drawback.

Card Name: Circle of Protection: Art
Cost: 1W
Type: Enchantment
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: As Circle of Protection: Art comes into play, choose an artist.
1W: The next time a source of your choice by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
1W: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner’s hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This is decent against creatures, but bad against burn (or Pestilence
Pestilence
PestilenceSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Jesper Myrfors
Text:
B: Do 1 damage to each creature and to both players.If there are no creatures in play at the end of any turn, Pestilence must be discarded.
, since it's so expensive to activate.) It's probably a worse sideboard choice than CoP: Color, but you've got more room if you run this.

Card Name: Double Header
Double Header
Double HeaderSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Drake
Rarity:
C
Number:
31
Artist:
Richard Sardinha
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
Flying
When Double Header comes into play, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner’s hand.

Cost: 3UU
Type: Creature ¬ Drake
Pow/Tgh: 2/3
Rules Text: Flying When Double Header
Double Header
Double HeaderSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Drake
Rarity:
C
Number:
31
Artist:
Richard Sardinha
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
Flying
When Double Header comes into play, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner’s hand.
comes into play, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner’s hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Even with no restrictions on the target, it's too expensive.

Card Name: Duh
Duh
DuhSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
52
Artist:
Dave Dorman
Text:
Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Cost: B
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Too many Peasant Magic creatures predate flavor text.

Card Name: Dumb Ass
Dumb Ass
Dumb AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Barbarian
Rarity:
C
Number:
75
Artist:
Bradley Williams
Power:
3.5
Toughness:
2
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Cost: 2R
Type: Creature ¬ Donkey Barbarian
Pow/Tgh: 3{1/2}/2
Rules Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass
Dumb Ass
Dumb AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Barbarian
Rarity:
C
Number:
75
Artist:
Bradley Williams
Power:
3.5
Toughness:
2
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.
attacks this turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

If it could attack every turn, I'd still rather have, say, Ronin Houndmaster
Ronin Houndmaster
Ronin HoundmasterSet: Champions of Kamigawa
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Samurai
Rarity:
C
Number:
184
Artist:
Edward P. Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Haste Bushido 1 (When this blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)
.

Card Name: Erase
Erase
EraseSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
1
Color:
White
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
7
Artist:
Ron Spears
Text:
Remove target enchantment from the game.
(Not the Urza
Urza
UrzaSet: Vanguard
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
7
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
-1
Toughness:
+10
Text:
3: Urza deals one damage to target creature or player.
’s Legacy
One)
Cost: 2W
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may play Erase
Erase
EraseSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
1
Color:
White
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
7
Artist:
Ron Spears
Text:
Remove target enchantment from the game.
(Not the Urza
Urza
UrzaSet: Vanguard
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
7
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
-1
Toughness:
+10
Text:
3: Urza deals one damage to target creature or player.
’s Legacy One) without paying its manaCost.
Remove
Remove
RemoveSet: Portal Second Age
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Play Remove only after you're attacked, before you declare blockers.Return any one attacking creature to its owner's hand.
target enchantment from the game.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This effect is not worth 0 mana. Disenchant
Disenchant
DisenchantSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
White
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Amy Weber
Text:
Target enchantment or artifact is destroyed.
is a better choice.

Card Name: Farewell to Arms
Farewell to Arms
Farewell to ArmsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
Ron Lemen
Text:
As Farewell to Arms comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent’s arm.
When the chosen hand isn’t behind its owner’s back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards his or her hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn’t let us do it the other way.)

Cost: 1BB
Type: Enchantment
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: As Farewell to Arms
Farewell to Arms
Farewell to ArmsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
Ron Lemen
Text:
As Farewell to Arms comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent’s arm.
When the chosen hand isn’t behind its owner’s back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards his or her hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn’t let us do it the other way.)
comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent’s arm. When the chosen hand isn’t behind its owner’s back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms
Farewell to Arms
Farewell to ArmsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
Ron Lemen
Text:
As Farewell to Arms comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent’s arm.
When the chosen hand isn’t behind its owner’s back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards his or her hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn’t let us do it the other way.)
. If you do, that player discards his or her hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers
wouldn’t let us do it the other way.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

My assumption is that this does nothing.

Card Name: Fascist Art Director
Fascist Art Director
Fascist Art DirectorSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Horror
Rarity:
C
Number:
11
Artist:
Edward P. "Feed Me" Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
WW: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Cost: 1WW
Type: Creature ¬ Human Horror
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: WW: Fascist Art Director
Fascist Art Director
Fascist Art DirectorSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Horror
Rarity:
C
Number:
11
Artist:
Edward P. "Feed Me" Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
WW: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.
gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Protection from a color will almost always be better than protection from an artist.

Card Name: Fat Ass
Fat Ass
Fat AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Shaman
Rarity:
C
Number:
95
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Power:
2
Toughness:
3.5
Text:
Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you’re eating. (Food is in your mouth and you’re chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.)

Cost: 4G
Type: Creature ¬ Donkey Shaman
Pow/Tgh: 2/3{1/2}
Rules Text: Fat Ass
Fat Ass
Fat AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Shaman
Rarity:
C
Number:
95
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Power:
2
Toughness:
3.5
Text:
Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you’re eating. (Food is in your mouth and you’re chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.)
gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you’re eating. (Food is in your mouth and you’re chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

4/6 trample for 5 is not cheap enough.

Card Name: Flaccify
Flaccify
FlaccifySet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
32
Artist:
Tim Hildebrandt
Text:
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3 1/2.
Cost: 2U
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3{1/2}.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

That's 4 mana and 1/2 a life. It's a fine card, but there are better counters available.

Card Name: Framed!
Framed!
Framed!Set: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
33
Artist:
Alan "Don't Feel Like You Have to Pick Me" Pollack
Text:
Tap or untap all permanents by the artist of your choice.

Cost: 1U
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Tap or untap all permanents by the artist of your choice.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Hello, ProsTides. This seems significantly better than Snap
Snap
SnapSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Mike Raabe
Text:
Return target creature to owner's hand. Untap up to two lands.
(which kindaCosts 4 and kinda untaps 4 lands.) It's strictly better if you have 4 lands in play. I had given up on Tides (I don't care for Snap
Snap
SnapSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Mike Raabe
Text:
Return target creature to owner's hand. Untap up to two lands.
since it requires that your opponent has no removal), but I suggest you start testing with it again.

Card Name: Frazzled Editor
Frazzled Editor
Frazzled EditorSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Bureaucrat
Rarity:
C
Number:
77
Artist:
Jim Pavelec
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.)

Cost: 1R
Type: Creature ¬ Human Bureaucrat
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.)

Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Not bad, but without a deck. Good against Pestilence
Pestilence
PestilenceSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Jesper Myrfors
Text:
B: Do 1 damage to each creature and to both players.If there are no creatures in play at the end of any turn, Pestilence must be discarded.
and Drain Life
Drain Life
Drain LifeSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Text:
Drain Life does 1 damage to a single target for each B spent in addition to the casting cost. Caster gains 1 life for each damage inflicted. If you drain life from a creature, you cannot gain more life than the creature's current toughness.
.

Card Name: Goblin Mime
Goblin Mime
Goblin MimeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Mime
Rarity:
C
Number:
78
Artist:
Franz Vohwinkel
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

Cost: 1R
Type: Creature ¬ Goblin Mime
Goblin Mime
Goblin MimeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Mime
Rarity:
C
Number:
78
Artist:
Franz Vohwinkel
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime
Goblin Mime
Goblin MimeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Mime
Rarity:
C
Number:
78
Artist:
Franz Vohwinkel
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.
.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Sparksmith
Sparksmith
SparksmithSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin
Rarity:
C
Number:
235
Artist:
Jim Nelson
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: Sparksmith deals X damage to target creature and X damage to you, where X. is the number of Goblins in play.
makes this card worth exploring. In many matchups, it's probably better than Mogg Flunkies
Mogg Flunkies
Mogg FlunkiesSet: Stronghold
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblins
Rarity:
C
Number:
92
Artist:
Brom
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Mogg Flunkies cannot attack or block during a turn in which no other creature you control attacks or blocks.
.


Card Name: Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. TeamSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Warrior
Rarity:
C
Number:
80
Artist:
Eric Deschamps
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Say “Goblin S.W.A.T. Team”: Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn.

Cost: 3R
Type: Creature ¬ Goblin Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Say “Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. TeamSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Warrior
Rarity:
C
Number:
80
Artist:
Eric Deschamps
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Say “Goblin S.W.A.T. Team”: Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn.
”: Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Goblin S.W.A.T. TeamSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Warrior
Rarity:
C
Number:
80
Artist:
Eric Deschamps
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Say “Goblin S.W.A.T. Team”: Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn.
unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This is a 2/2 for 4.

Card Name: Goblin Secret Agent
Goblin Secret Agent
Goblin Secret AgentSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin Rogue
Rarity:
C
Number:
79
Artist:
Tony Szczudlo
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

Cost: 2R
Type: Creature ¬ Goblin Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: First strike

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

There are better cards for 3 mana in red, but not many better Goblins.

Card Name: Graphic Violence
Graphic Violence
Graphic ViolenceSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
100
Artist:
Wayne "King of" England
Text:
All creatures by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Cost: 2G
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: All creatures by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Well. That's nice. It has to affect 2 creatures before you'd consider it, but surely it's possible to make that happen pretty consistently.

Card Name: Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred WordSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Druid
Rarity:
C
Number:
101
Artist:
Dany Orizio
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
As Keeper of the Sacred Word comes into play, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Cost: 2G
Type: Creature ¬ Human Druid
Pow/Tgh: 2/3
Rules Text: As Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred WordSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Druid
Rarity:
C
Number:
101
Artist:
Dany Orizio
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
As Keeper of the Sacred Word comes into play, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.
comes into play, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred Word
Keeper of the Sacred WordSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Druid
Rarity:
C
Number:
101
Artist:
Dany Orizio
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
As Keeper of the Sacred Word comes into play, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.
gets +3/+3 until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

2/3 for 3. Not worth it.

Card Name: Land Aid ’04
Cost: GG
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into play tapped, then shuffle your library. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

GG is a big problem for this card. You've got to have plenty of Forest
Forest
ForestSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool.
s to play it, but I don't think it's worth it if it's only going to fetch a Forest
Forest
ForestSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool.
. You need to be mostly green, but with a little splash (or a few little splashes) of something else. I don't know of a deck like that right now.

Card Name: Laughing Hyena
Laughing Hyena
Laughing HyenaSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Hyena
Rarity:
C
Number:
103
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Cost: 1G
Type: Creature ¬ Hyena
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Gotcha ¬ Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Laughing Hyena
Laughing Hyena
Laughing HyenaSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Hyena
Rarity:
C
Number:
103
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.
from your graveyard to your hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Nope.

Card Name: Little Girl
Little Girl
Little GirlSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Child
Rarity:
C
Number:
16
Artist:
Rebecca Guay-Mitchell
Power:
.5
Toughness:
.5
Text:
In the future, she may be a distinguished leader, a great scholar, or a decorated hero. These days all she does is pee the bed.

Cost: W (half)
Type: Creature ¬ Human Child
Pow/Tgh: {1/2}/{1/2}
Rules Text:
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I laughed until I dismissed it.

Card Name: Loose Lips
Loose Lips
Loose LipsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
C
Number:
36
Artist:
John Matson
Text:
As Loose Lips comes into play, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence.

Cost: U
Type: Enchant Creature
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: As Loose Lips
Loose Lips
Loose LipsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
C
Number:
36
Artist:
John Matson
Text:
As Loose Lips comes into play, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence.
comes into play, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Strictly better than Flight
Flight
FlightSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Target creature is now a flying creature.
.

Card Name: Man of Measure
Man of Measure
Man of MeasureSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Knight
Rarity:
C
Number:
18
Artist:
Edward P. Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
As long as you’re shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure has first strike and gets +0/+1.
As long as you’re taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Cost: 1WW
Type: Creature ¬ Human Knight
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: As long as you’re shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure
Man of Measure
Man of MeasureSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Knight
Rarity:
C
Number:
18
Artist:
Edward P. Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
As long as you’re shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure has first strike and gets +0/+1.
As long as you’re taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.
has first strike and gets +0/+1.
As long as you’re taller than an opponent, Man of Measure
Man of Measure
Man of MeasureSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Knight
Rarity:
C
Number:
18
Artist:
Edward P. Beard, Jr.
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
As long as you’re shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure has first strike and gets +0/+1.
As long as you’re taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.
gets +1/+0.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

If you're exceptionally tall, it's not quite good enough for White Weenie.

Card Name: Mana Flair
Mana Flair
Mana FlairSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
81
Artist:
Paolo "That's Actually Me" Parente
Text:
Add R to your mana pool for each nonland permanent by the artist of your choice.

Cost: 1R
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Add R to your mana pool for each nonland permanent by the artist of your choice.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Where did all of those non-land permanents come from?

Card Name: Moniker Mage
Moniker Mage
Moniker MageSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
39
Artist:
Keith Garletts
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
U: Say your middle name: Moniker Mage can’t be the target of spells or abilities this turn. U: Say an opponent’s middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.

Cost: 2U
Type: Creature ¬ Human Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: U, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage
Moniker Mage
Moniker MageSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
39
Artist:
Keith Garletts
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
U: Say your middle name: Moniker Mage can’t be the target of spells or abilities this turn. U: Say an opponent’s middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.
can’t be the target of spells or abilities this turn.
U, Say an opponent’s middle name: Moniker Mage
Moniker Mage
Moniker MageSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
39
Artist:
Keith Garletts
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
U: Say your middle name: Moniker Mage can’t be the target of spells or abilities this turn. U: Say an opponent’s middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.
gains flying until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I don't think you would play this if you knew your opponent's middle name.

Card Name: Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey MonkeySet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ape
Rarity:
C
Number:
104
Artist:
Liz Danforth
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
As Monkey Monkey Monkey comes into play, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Cost: 3G
Type: Creature ¬ Ape
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: As Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey MonkeySet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ape
Rarity:
C
Number:
104
Artist:
Liz Danforth
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
As Monkey Monkey Monkey comes into play, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.
comes into play, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey Monkey
Monkey Monkey MonkeySet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ape
Rarity:
C
Number:
104
Artist:
Liz Danforth
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
As Monkey Monkey Monkey comes into play, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.
gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Again, I don't believe there will be many non-land
permanents.

Card Name: Mons’s Goblin Waiters
Cost: R
Type: Creature ¬ Goblin Waiter
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Sacrifice
Sacrifice
SacrificeSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Dan Frazier
Text:
Sacrifice one of your creatures to add to your mana pool a number of black mana equal to that creature's casting cost.
a creature or land: Add 1/2*R to your mana pool.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

A potential finisher if you have creatures and burn. You need to have plenty of lands in play, though, and not many Goblins, or Skirk Prospector
Skirk Prospector
Skirk ProspectorSet: Onslaught
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Goblin
Rarity:
C
Number:
230
Artist:
Doug Chaffee
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Sacrifice a Goblin: Add R to your mana pool.
is better.

Card Name: Mother of Goons
Mother of Goons
Mother of GoonsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Cleric
Rarity:
C
Number:
59
Artist:
Darrell Riche
Power:
3
Toughness:
2
Text:
Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from play, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Cost: 2B
Type: Creature ¬ Human Cleric
Pow/Tgh: 3/2
Rules Text: Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from play, sacrifice Mother of Goons
Mother of Goons
Mother of GoonsSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Cleric
Rarity:
C
Number:
59
Artist:
Darrell Riche
Power:
3
Toughness:
2
Text:
Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from play, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.
unless you insult that creature.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

A decent creature for Aggro Black, but I don't believe it makes that deck work.

Card Name: Number Crunch
Number Crunch
Number CrunchSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
42
Artist:
Stephen Daniele
Text:
Return target permanent to its owner’s hand.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Cost: 2U
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Return target permanent to its owner’s hand.
Gotcha ¬ Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Number Crunch
Number Crunch
Number CrunchSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
42
Artist:
Stephen Daniele
Text:
Return target permanent to its owner’s hand.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.
from your graveyard to your hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Nope.

Card Name: Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish ParatroopersSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Orc Paratrooper
Rarity:
C
Number:
83
Artist:
Matt Thompson
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
When Orcish Paratroopers comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it lands face up after turning over completely.

Cost: 2R
Type: Creature ¬ Orc Paratrooper
Pow/Tgh: 4/4
Rules Text: When Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish ParatroopersSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Orc Paratrooper
Rarity:
C
Number:
83
Artist:
Matt Thompson
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
When Orcish Paratroopers comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it lands face up after turning over completely.
comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice
Sacrifice
SacrificeSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Dan Frazier
Text:
Sacrifice one of your creatures to add to your mana pool a number of black mana equal to that creature's casting cost.
Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish Paratroopers
Orcish ParatroopersSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Orc Paratrooper
Rarity:
C
Number:
83
Artist:
Matt Thompson
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
When Orcish Paratroopers comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it lands face up after turning over completely.
unless it lands face up after turning over completely.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Not so much flipping a coin as shooting freethrows. I just did 10 of these in a row successfully (card drops, not freethrows), so I'd guess that this is close to being a 4/4 for 3.

Card Name: Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental
Cost: 1GG
Type: Creature ¬ Elemental
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Art rampage 2 (Whenever this becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker’s art beyond the first.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

If this were unblockable, it wouldn't be playable.

Card Name: Punctuate
Punctuate
PunctuateSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
84
Artist:
Jim Pavelec
Text:
Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature’s text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " ' & .)

Cost: 3R
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Punctuate
Punctuate
PunctuateSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
84
Artist:
Jim Pavelec
Text:
Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature’s text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " ' & .)
deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature’s text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? ,
; : - ¬ ( ) / ´´ ' & .)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

For 4 mana and no ability to target players, it's not playable at infinite damage.

Card Name: Red-Hot Hottie
Cost: 2RR
Type: Creature ¬ Elemental
Pow/Tgh: 2/5
Rules Text: Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It has “At the end of each turn, sacrifice this creature unless you scream ‘Aaah!’ at the top of your lungs.”
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

2/5 for 4 is too expensive.

Card Name: Remodel
Remodel
RemodelSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
108
Artist:
Lars Grant-"Wild Wild"-West
Text:
If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play Remodel without paying its mana cost.
Remove target artifact from the game.

Cost: 2G
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play Remodel
Remodel
RemodelSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
108
Artist:
Lars Grant-"Wild Wild"-West
Text:
If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play Remodel without paying its mana cost.
Remove target artifact from the game.
without paying its manaCost.
Remove
Remove
RemoveSet: Portal Second Age
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Play Remove only after you're attacked, before you declare blockers.Return any one attacking creature to its owner's hand.
target artifact from the game.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I'd rather pay to play Naturalize
Naturalize
NaturalizeSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
275
Artist:
Ron Spears
Text:
Destroy target artifact or enchantment.
or Wear Away
Wear Away
Wear AwaySet: Champions of Kamigawa
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Sub Type:
Arcane
Rarity:
C
Number:
250
Artist:
Tim Hildebrandt
Text:
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Splice onto Arcane 3G (As you play an Arcane spell, you may reveal this card from your hand and pay its splice cost. If you do, add this card's effects to that spell.)
.

Card Name: S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.Set: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
111
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:

Toughness:

Text:
As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)

Cost: G
Type: Creature ¬ Ooze
Pow/Tgh: *{^2}/*{^2}
Rules Text: As S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.Set: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
111
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:

Toughness:

Text:
As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)
comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.Set: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
111
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:

Toughness:

Text:
As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)
in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.

S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.Set: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
111
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:

Toughness:

Text:
As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)
’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.
S.N.O.T.Set: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
111
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:

Toughness:

Text:
As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.’s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)
s stuck
together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Guaranteed 2 it's good, but not amazing. Without that guarantee, I don't believe it's playable (although for PEZ without the 4 of rule . . .)

Card Name: Sauté
Cost: 1RR
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Sauté deals 31/2 damage to target creature or player.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This is 3 damage, with a slight bonus for targeting players. It's okay, but not as good as existing burn, even before Isochron Scepter
Isochron Scepter
Isochron ScepterSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
U
Number:
188
Artist:
Mark Harrison
Text:
Imprint - When Isochron Scepter comes into play, you may remove an instant card with converted mana cost 2 or less in your hand from the game. (The removed card is imprinted on this artifact.) 2, T: You may copy the imprinted instant card and play the copy without paying its mana cost.
is considered.

Card Name: Shoe Tree
Shoe Tree
Shoe TreeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Treefolk
Rarity:
C
Number:
109
Artist:
Francis Tsai
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Shoe Tree comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.
Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.

Cost: 4G
Type: Creature ¬ Treefolk
Pow/Tgh: 3/3
Rules Text: Shoe Tree
Shoe Tree
Shoe TreeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Treefolk
Rarity:
C
Number:
109
Artist:
Francis Tsai
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Shoe Tree comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.
Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.
comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.
Shoe Tree
Shoe Tree
Shoe TreeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Treefolk
Rarity:
C
Number:
109
Artist:
Francis Tsai
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Shoe Tree comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.
Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.
gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

5/5 for 5 is too expensive.


Card Name: Smart Ass
Smart Ass
Smart AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Trevor Hairsine
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
Whenever Smart Ass attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn’t there. If that player doesn’t, Smart Ass is unblockable this turn.

Cost: 2U
Type: Creature ¬ Donkey Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 2{1/2}/1
Rules Text: Whenever Smart Ass
Smart Ass
Smart AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Trevor Hairsine
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
Whenever Smart Ass attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn’t there. If that player doesn’t, Smart Ass is unblockable this turn.
attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn’t there. If that player doesn’t, Smart Ass
Smart Ass
Smart AssSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Donkey Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Trevor Hairsine
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
1
Text:
Whenever Smart Ass attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn’t there. If that player doesn’t, Smart Ass is unblockable this turn.
is unblockable this turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This is a good, skill-testing card. It's not quite powerful enough.

Card Name: Standing Army
Standing Army
Standing ArmySet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Soldier
Rarity:
C
Number:
20
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
2
Toughness:
4
Text:
As long as you’re standing, Standing Army has vigilance. (Attacking doesn’t cause it to tap.)

Cost: 2WW
Type: Creature ¬ Human Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 2/4
Rules Text: As long as you’re standing, Standing Army
Standing Army
Standing ArmySet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Soldier
Rarity:
C
Number:
20
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
2
Toughness:
4
Text:
As long as you’re standing, Standing Army has vigilance. (Attacking doesn’t cause it to tap.)
has vigilance. (Attacking doesn’t cause it to tap.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

2/4 with vigilance is not good enough.


Card Name: Stop That
Stop That
Stop ThatSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
63
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Cost: B
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Target player discards a card.
Gotcha ¬ Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say
“Gotcha!” If you do, return Stop That
Stop That
Stop ThatSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
63
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.
from your graveyard to your hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I promised to assume that you'd never ´´Gotcha!´´ your opponent, and I'll almost keep that promise. Isochron Scepter
Isochron Scepter
Isochron ScepterSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
U
Number:
188
Artist:
Mark Harrison
Text:
Imprint - When Isochron Scepter comes into play, you may remove an instant card with converted mana cost 2 or less in your hand from the game. (The removed card is imprinted on this artifact.) 2, T: You may copy the imprinted instant card and play the copy without paying its mana cost.
is clearly very good in red and blue. It's also good in White and to a lesser extent in Green, except for the presence of artifact removal. My super-secret tech (though not surprizing) is that it's pretty good in MBC, as well. Diabolic Edict
Diabolic Edict
Diabolic EdictSet: Tempest
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Text:
Target player sacrifices a creature.
is obvious creature control, Headstone
Headstone
HeadstoneSet: Homelands
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
David A. Cherry
Text:
Remove from the game target card in any graveyard.Draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.
is decent card drawing, and Funeral Charm
Funeral Charm
Funeral CharmSet: Visions
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Greg Spalenka
Text:
Choose one Target player chooses and discards a card; or target creature gets +2/-1 until end of turn; or target creature gains swampwalk until end of turn. (If defending player controls any swamps, that creature is unblockable.)
is versitile, with the possibility of setting up a (soft) lock. Stop That
Stop That
Stop ThatSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
63
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.
is also a potential lock, but it's far less versitile. Assuming that it never gets back to your hand, it's probably
borderline. On the other hand, get it back, and it's awesome. Would you replace Duress
Duress
DuressSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
132
Artist:
Lawrence Snelly
Text:
Look at target opponent's hand and choose a noncreature, nonland card there. That player discards that card.
in this if only for the opportunity to lock your opponent? Maybe.

Card Name: Supersize
Supersize
SupersizeSet: Unhinged
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
113
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Cost: 1G
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Target creature gets +3{1/2}/+3{1/2} until end of turn.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I have trouble justifying this card over, say Muscle Burst
Muscle Burst
Muscle BurstSet: Odyssey
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
252
Artist:
Gary Ruddell
Text:
Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is 3 plus the number of Muscle Burst cards in all graveyards.
or Predator's Strike
Predator's Strike
Predator's StrikeSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
128
Artist:
Tony Szczudlo
Text:
Target creature gets +3/+3 and gains trample until end of turn.
. Neither of those cards see much play.

Card Name: Tainted Monkey
Tainted Monkey
Tainted MonkeySet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ape
Rarity:
C
Number:
64
Artist:
Mark Zug
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life.

Cost: 1B
Type: Creature ¬ Ape
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: T: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

It's good if you can consistently pick a word, but I don't see that happening.

Card Name: The Fallen Apart
The Fallen Apart
The Fallen ApartSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
55
Artist:
Corey D. Macourek
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
The Fallen Apart comes into play with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can’t attack if it has no legs and can’t block if it has no arms.

Cost: 2BB
Type: Creature ¬ Zombie
Pow/Tgh: 4/4
Rules Text: The Fallen Apart
The Fallen Apart
The Fallen ApartSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
55
Artist:
Corey D. Macourek
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
The Fallen Apart comes into play with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can’t attack if it has no legs and can’t block if it has no arms.
comes into play with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart
The Fallen Apart
The Fallen ApartSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
55
Artist:
Corey D. Macourek
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
The Fallen Apart comes into play with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can’t attack if it has no legs and can’t block if it has no arms.
, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart
The Fallen Apart
The Fallen ApartSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie
Rarity:
C
Number:
55
Artist:
Corey D. Macourek
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
The Fallen Apart comes into play with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can’t attack if it has no legs and can’t block if it has no arms.
can’t attack if it has no legs and can’t block if it has no arms.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

I don't think it's efficient enough even without the drawback.

Card Name: Touch and Go
Touch and Go
Touch and GoSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
90
Artist:
Ben Thompson
Text:
Destroy target land.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

Cost: 3R
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Destroy target land.
Gotcha ¬ Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Touch and Go
Touch and Go
Touch and GoSet: Unhinged
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
90
Artist:
Ben Thompson
Text:
Destroy target land.
Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say “Gotcha!” If you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.
from your graveyard to your hand.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Nope.

Card Name: Vile Bile
Vile Bile
Vile BileSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
65
Artist:
Tony Szczudlo
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
2.5
Text:
Whenever a player’s skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

Cost: 1B
Type: Creature ¬ Ooze
Pow/Tgh: 2{1/2}/2{1/2}
Rules Text: Whenever a player’s skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile
Vile Bile
Vile BileSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
C
Number:
65
Artist:
Tony Szczudlo
Power:
2.5
Toughness:
2.5
Text:
Whenever a player’s skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.
, that player loses 2 life.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This is good. Presumably, it has no drawback (wear a long-sleved shirt, or bring a glove) and so it's a little better than a 2/3 for 2 (5 damage if it hits twice). The two slot is pretty stuffed (oh, were it were a 3{1/2}/3{1/2} for 1BB!) but it is still worth investigating.

Card Name: Wet Willie of the Damned
Wet Willie of the Damned
Wet Willie of the DamnedSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
66
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to target creature or player and you gain 2½ life.

Cost: 2BB
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Wet Willie of the Damned
Wet Willie of the Damned
Wet Willie of the DamnedSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
66
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to target creature or player and you gain 2½ life.
deals 2{1/2} damage to target creature or player and you gain 2{1/2} life.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

This wouldn't be playable at 3 life.

Card Name: When Fluffy Bunnies Attack
When Fluffy Bunnies Attack
When Fluffy Bunnies AttackSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
67
Artist:
Ray Lago
Text:
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature’s name.

Cost: 3B
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature’s name.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Rend Flesh
Rend Flesh
Rend FleshSet: Champions of Kamigawa
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Sub Type:
Arcane
Rarity:
C
Number:
140
Artist:
Stephen Tappin
Text:
Destroy target non-Spirit creature.
is almost strictly better.

Card Name: Wordmail
Wordmail
WordmailSet: Unhinged
Color:
White
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
C
Number:
22
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Text:
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Cost: W
Type: Enchant Creature
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d common

Without much work, you can set up a deck where this is usually +2/+2, but it's tricky to make it consistently more than that.

----- Noteable uncommons -----

Card Name: Booster Tutor
Booster Tutor
Booster TutorSet: Unhinged
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
51
Artist:
Christopher Rush
Text:
Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Cost: B
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove
Remove
RemoveSet: Portal Second Age
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Text:
Play Remove only after you're attacked, before you declare blockers.Return any one attacking creature to its owner's hand.
that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d uncommon

I recommend Urza
Urza
UrzaSet: Vanguard
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
7
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
-1
Toughness:
+10
Text:
3: Urza deals one damage to target creature or player.
's Saga. Let's say you own lots of boosters of a set with good black (say, Urza
Urza
UrzaSet: Vanguard
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
7
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
-1
Toughness:
+10
Text:
3: Urza deals one damage to target creature or player.
's Saga, which has Pestilence
Pestilence
PestilenceSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Jesper Myrfors
Text:
B: Do 1 damage to each creature and to both players.If there are no creatures in play at the end of any turn, Pestilence must be discarded.
, Befoul
Befoul
BefoulSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
116
Artist:
Pete Venters
Text:
Destroy target land or nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.
, Corrupt
Corrupt
CorruptSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
6
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
124
Artist:
Vincent Evans
Text:
Corrupt deals 1 damage to target creature or player for each swamp you control. When Corrupt successfully deals damage to a creature or player, gain life equal to that damage.
, Duress
Duress
DuressSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
132
Artist:
Lawrence Snelly
Text:
Look at target opponent's hand and choose a noncreature, nonland card there. That player discards that card.
, Expunge
Expunge
ExpungeSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
135
Artist:
Christopher Moeller
Text:
Destroy target nonartifact, nonblack creature. That creature cannot be regenerated this turn.Cycling 2 (You may pay 2 and discard this card from your hand to draw a card. Play this ability as an instant.)
, and assorted Cyclers in the common slot). This is then a good card, especially if you can imprint it on an Isochron Scepter
Isochron Scepter
Isochron ScepterSet: Mirrodin
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
U
Number:
188
Artist:
Mark Harrison
Text:
Imprint - When Isochron Scepter comes into play, you may remove an instant card with converted mana cost 2 or less in your hand from the game. (The removed card is imprinted on this artifact.) 2, T: You may copy the imprinted instant card and play the copy without paying its mana cost.
. I would suggest that this violates the spirit of the format, but there
you go.

Card Name: Mouth to Mouth
Mouth to Mouth
Mouth to MouthSet: Unhinged
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
40
Artist:
Alan Pollack
Text:
You and target opponent have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of target creature that player controls.

Cost: 3U
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: You and target opponent have a breath-holding contest.
If you win, you gain control of target creature that player controls.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d uncommon

Let's say you could always win (I don't know. Maybe you're an Olympic synchronized swimmer and you can hold your breath for 2 minutes at a time.) Is this then a good card? It's good, but I don't know that it's good enough as an uncommon.

Card Name: Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug
Cost: 3R
Type: Creature ¬ Slug
Pow/Tgh: 3/1
Rules Text: Super haste (This may attack the turn before you play it. (You may put this card into play from your hand, tapped and attacking, during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the end of your next turn unless you pay this card’s mana Cost during that turn.))
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d uncommon

Suppose this Cost 0 and you lost the game at the end of the next turn. It would be pretty interesting then, right? Well, it's better than that. If you can win within two turns, it's free. If it doesn't get blocked or killed, it's 0 mana for 6 damage. Is that worth an uncommon slot?

Card Name: Urza
Urza
UrzaSet: Vanguard
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
7
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
-1
Toughness:
+10
Text:
3: Urza deals one damage to target creature or player.
’s Hot Tub
Cost: 2
Type: Artifact
Pow/Tgh:
Rules Text: 2, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Set/Rarity: Unhinge
Unhinge
UnhingeSet: Torment
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Text:
Target player discards a card from his or her hand. Draw a card.
d uncommon

This is another card that goes pretty well in U/G madness, but it's an uncommon. I'm not convinced that it's worth the slot.


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