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Suicide Black, Literally - Clay Schubert (4/1/2008)

This is by far the most efficient first turn kill deck in all of magic. You can mulligan until you only have 3 cards in your hand, and still drop your 1st turn threatening powerhouse. If you’re going first the only way an opponent can stop it is with a Force of Will
Force of Will
Force of WillSet: Alliances
Cost:
5
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
You may pay 1 life and remove a blue card in your hand from the game instead of paying Force of Will's casting cost. Effects that prevent or redirect damage cannot be used to counter this loss of life. Counter target spell.
(or if they have a Gemstone Caverns
Gemstone Caverns
Gemstone CavernsSet: Time Spiral
Color:
Land
Type:
Legendary Land
Rarity:
R
Number:
274
Artist:
Martina Pilcerova
Text:
If Gemstone Caverns is in your opening hand and you're not playing first, you may begin the game with Gemstone Caverns in play with a luck counter on it. If you do, remove a card in your hand from the game. T: Add 1 to your mana pool. If Gemstone Caverns has a luck counter on it, instead add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
out and play Force Spike
Force Spike
Force SpikeSet: Fifth Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
John Matson
Text:
Counter target spell unless its caster pays an additional 1.
or Mana Tithe
Mana Tithe
Mana TitheSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
White
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
c
Number:
25
Artist:
Martina Pilcerova
Text:
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 1.
). After your threat is out, you issue the ultimatum that if any player tries to do anything to you, you’ll kill someone right there. Point. Click. Dead.

Did I mention that the only person the deck can kill is yourself?


…?


Yes, you read that right. This deck kills yourself. That’s its entire point.


…?


I know what you’re thinking. “You created a deck that kills yourself? Why???”

A. Because it’s funny.
B. Because it’s April Fool’s
C. Why not?
D. It’s okay to lose, if you do it on purpose.
E. You’re using a card named Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous PoltergeistSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ghost
Rarity:
U
Number:
144
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Pay 1 life: Regenerate Mischievous Poltergeist.
… What else should you be doing?
E. Because in a multiplayer game, it’s fun to watch other people’s reactions when you show them your deck’s combo!

How the deck works: Dark ritual out a Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous PoltergeistSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ghost
Rarity:
U
Number:
144
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Pay 1 life: Regenerate Mischievous Poltergeist.
. When you’re ready, regenerate it X times, where X is equal to your life total. Congratulations, you’re now dead. Honestly, how beautifully simple is that? Take a good look at the art on Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous PoltergeistSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ghost
Rarity:
U
Number:
144
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Pay 1 life: Regenerate Mischievous Poltergeist.
. DiTerlizzi did an amazing job on the fun-loving ghost. How can you hate him? Just look at that dopey-grinned face! Awww…

Now, why would you play this deck?

If your playgroup is used to you bringing wacky combo decks, then the stage is set perfectly. Let them know calmly that you’re going to sit back, and if anyone angers you, then you’ll kill someone (make sure you say “someone”). Your deck is filled with tutors, cycling cards, to make it look like you’re assembling your combo of death. You can throw in a couple of red herrings – cards that look like they’re part of a combo. Now you just wait. Wait as your friends try and figure out what your combo is, and tiptoe the entire game, hoping to build a defense to this unknown death-combo without incurring your wrath. Then, when the time is right...

You lived up to your word, didn’t you? You killed someone?

This deck’s surprise only works once. But once is all you need.

When I played it, my two opponents started laughing, saying “Dude, that’s so cool.” Magic is meant to be fun. Go ahead, have a laugh.

When my friend built this deck, he got quite a few reactions. As he recounted to me: He was playing a four-player game. He is by far the most skilled and feared player in his playgroup, winning about 75% of the games. So, he announced that if anyone messed with him, he’d kill someone. So, after his first turn ghost, everyone just sat silently as for each of the following turns he tutored for some unknown killing piece…. After about 35 minutes, someone got the nerve to test him, and attacked him. My friend responded, “Well, then I kill myself!”

After a few moments of stunned silence, one of his friends fell out of his chair in a furious fit of laughter. Another began yelling and complaining how angry they were that they just spent the last half an hour sweating in fear trying to find a way to beat that unknown “killer-combo.” The fourth sat there scratching their head, not getting how the combo worked. After 5 minutes of explanation, they started in a fit of laughter.


And that is the last reason: make a memorable night of Magic.


“Flawless Victory”
Lands – 20
12 Swamp
Swamp
SwampSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add B to your mana pool.
s
4 Barren Moor
Barren Moor
Barren MoorSet: Onslaught
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
C
Number:
312
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
Barren Moor comes into play tapped. T: Add B to your mana pool. Cycling B (B, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card.)

4 Polluted Mire
Polluted Mire
Polluted MireSet: Urza's Saga
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
C
Number:
323
Artist:
Stephen Daniele
Text:
Polluted Mire comes into play tapped.T: Add B to your mana pool.Cycling 2 (You may pay 2 and discard this card from your hand to draw a card. Play this ability as an instant.)


Creatures – 12
4 Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous Poltergeist
Mischievous PoltergeistSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ghost
Rarity:
U
Number:
144
Artist:
DiTerlizzi
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Pay 1 life: Regenerate Mischievous Poltergeist.

4 Street Wraith
Street Wraith
Street WraithSet: Future Sight
Cost:
5
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Wraith
Rarity:
U
Number:
90
Artist:
Cyril Van Der Haegen
Power:
3
Toughness:
4
Text:
Swampwalk
Cycling-Pay 2 life. (Pay 2 life, Discard this card Draw a card.)


Spells – 28
4 Dark Ritual
Dark Ritual
Dark RitualSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Sandra Everingham
Text:
Add BBB to your mana pool.

4 Fade From Memory
4 Diabolic Tutor
Diabolic Tutor
Diabolic TutorSet: Odyssey
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
129
Artist:
Rick Farrell
Text:
Search your library for a card, and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
s
4 Night’s Whisper
4 Cabal Ritual
Cabal Ritual
Cabal RitualSet: Torment
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Text:
Add BBB to your mana pool. Threshold - Instead add BBBBB to your mana pool.

3 Dash Hopes
Dash Hopes
Dash HopesSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
68
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
When you play Dash Hopes, any player may pay 5 life. If a player does, counter Dash Hopes. Counter target spell.

1 Demonic Tutor
Demonic Tutor
Demonic TutorSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Text:
Search your library for one card and take it into your hand. Reshuffle your library afterwards.

4 “Red Herrings” – Any card that might look like it’s part of a combo.


May this deck bring you and your friends laughter!
Questions or comments, send me a message.
May the bears be with you.


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