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A Fistful of Jank - alt.win.con - Evan Pringle (9/26/2014)

A Fistful of Jank

alt.win.con

Magic has so many ways to play, it only makes sense that it also has many ways to win. The two methods inherent in the rules are bringing your opponent's life total to zero or less and forcing your opponent to draw from an empty library. Any methods outside those two have to be written on specific cards, and those are thankfully pretty rare.

Alternate win conditions are relatively janky things – perfect for my intentions with this series. So I set myself to the task of making a deck that included all alternate win cons currently available in Standard (pre-Khans of Tarkir). Those cards were:

Azor's Elocutors
Azor's Elocutors
Azor's ElocutorsSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
13
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Advisor
Rarity:
R
Number:
210
Artist:
Johannes Voss
Power:
3
Toughness:
5
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a filibuster counter on Azor's Elocutors. Then if Azor's Elocutors has five or more filibuster counters on it, you win the game. Whenever a source deals damage to you, remove a filibuster counter from Azor's Elocutors.

Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.

Hellkite Tyrant
Hellkite Tyrant
Hellkite TyrantSet: Gatecrash
Cost:
6
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Dragon
Rarity:
M
Number:
94
Artist:
Aleksi Briclot
Power:
6
Toughness:
5
Text:
Flying, trample Whenever Hellkite Tyrant deals combat damage to a player, gain control of all artifacts that player controls. At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twenty or more artifacts, you win the game.

Maze's End
Maze's End
Maze's EndSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
M
Number:
152
Artist:
Cliff Childs
Text:
Maze's End enters the battlefield tapped. {T}: Add {1} to your mana pool. {3}, {T}, Return Maze's End to its owner's hand: Search your library for a Gate card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. If you control ten or more Gates with different names, you win the game.

Vraska the Unseen
Vraska the Unseen
Vraska the UnseenSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Planeswalker
Sub Type:
Vraska
Rarity:
M
Number:
208
Artist:
Aleksi Briclot
Text:
+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Vraska the Unseen, destroy that creature. -3: Destroy target nonland permanent. -7: Put three 1/1 black Assassin creature tokens onto the battlefield with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game."


Editing the Deck
I quickly realized that this deck was too unfocused, even for me. The colors were all over the place, and there wasn't any one condition that was going to prevail because of what the others required.

It seemed pretty clear to me that either you went all-in on the Maze's End
Maze's End
Maze's EndSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
M
Number:
152
Artist:
Cliff Childs
Text:
Maze's End enters the battlefield tapped. {T}: Add {1} to your mana pool. {3}, {T}, Return Maze's End to its owner's hand: Search your library for a Gate card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. If you control ten or more Gates with different names, you win the game.
plan or you had a big mess. It was easily the most complicated condition and it had to go.

I removed Azor's Elocutors
Azor's Elocutors
Azor's ElocutorsSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
13
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Advisor
Rarity:
R
Number:
210
Artist:
Johannes Voss
Power:
3
Toughness:
5
Text:
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a filibuster counter on Azor's Elocutors. Then if Azor's Elocutors has five or more filibuster counters on it, you win the game. Whenever a source deals damage to you, remove a filibuster counter from Azor's Elocutors.
for a similar reason. The win condition was so delicate and I didn't want to spend half the deck trying to protect it. So out it came.

Hellkite Tyrant
Hellkite Tyrant
Hellkite TyrantSet: Gatecrash
Cost:
6
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Dragon
Rarity:
M
Number:
94
Artist:
Aleksi Briclot
Power:
6
Toughness:
5
Text:
Flying, trample Whenever Hellkite Tyrant deals combat damage to a player, gain control of all artifacts that player controls. At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twenty or more artifacts, you win the game.
requires a ridiculous amount of artifacts to fire off the “win the game” portion of the card. I couldn't rely on my opponent bringing enough to trigger him, so it was up to me to do so. Again, this win con required too much space in the deck for it to even have a chance. The Tyrant was cut.

I was left with Vraska's Assassin tokens as a backup win con, with Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
as the primary plan.

Obviously, because you need four copies of Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
to trigger the win, copy effects are ideal. This win would have been easier before Innistrad block rotated out; Infinite Reflection
Infinite Reflection
Infinite ReflectionSet: Avacyn Restored
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
R
Number:
61
Artist:
Igor Kieryluk
Text:
Enchant creature When Infinite Reflection enters the battlefield attached to a creature, each other nontoken creature you control becomes a copy of that creature. Nontoken creatures you control enter the battlefield as a copy of enchanted creature.
would be such a good choice. But that wasn't an option and I'm just fine with that.

Instead, I relied on Stolen Identity
Stolen Identity
Stolen IdentitySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
53
Artist:
Clint Cearley
Text:
Put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of target artifact or creature. Cipher (Then you may exile this spell card encoded on a creature you control. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)
to do the heavy lifting. The Cipher mechanic allows for repeatable casting for the cheap price of hitting your opponent. This called for creatures being unblockable!

For that, my first choice was Elusive Krasis
Elusive Krasis
Elusive KrasisSet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Fish Mutant
Rarity:
U
Number:
160
Artist:
Wesley Burt
Power:
0
Toughness:
4
Text:
Elusive Krasis is unblockable. Evolve (Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if that creature has greater power or toughness than this creature, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
, because it has inherent unblockability. In case I needed to use another creature to do the Stolen Identity
Stolen Identity
Stolen IdentitySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
53
Artist:
Clint Cearley
Text:
Put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of target artifact or creature. Cipher (Then you may exile this spell card encoded on a creature you control. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)
thing, I added a copy each of Prowler's Helm
Prowler's Helm
Prowler's HelmSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Sub Type:
Equipment
Rarity:
U
Number:
219
Artist:
Igor Kieryluk
Text:
Equipped creature can't be blocked except by Walls. Equip {2}
and Aqueous Form
Aqueous Form
Aqueous FormSet: Theros
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
C
Number:
39
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Text:
Enchant creature Enchanted creature can't be blocked. Whenever enchanted creature attacks, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)
. Those cards were also in there to allow an Assassin token to take it home, should the opportunity arise.

Off to FNM
Did I think it was a good deck? Oh, gosh, no! Did I think it was a fun deck? Well, I hoped so. I didn't have illusions of winning the tournament; all I wanted was to hit each win condition at least once.

So, with much hope, I went to our local Friday Night Magic place at 6:30.

Which was a major problem, because the tournament started at 6:00.

It turns out it used to start at 6:30, but had changed to 6:00 sometime while my working life ate up all my free time and I couldn't attend Magic tournaments. I had no choice but to start with a loss on my record, as it was the very last Standard tournament before rotation. I tried to take it in stride, thinking that was likely how the round would've ended for me, anyway.

Thus, I began my adventure with a record of 0-1.

Round 2
My first opponent was Damian, with a deck that I internally named Call of Kruphix before he told me it was called National Bank of Kruphix. No matter the name, the deck did some strange and unpredictable things while using some big name cards like Prophet of Kruphix
Prophet of Kruphix
Prophet of KruphixSet: Theros
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
199
Artist:
Winona Nelson
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
Untap all creatures and lands you control during each other player's untap step. You may cast creature cards as though they had flash.
and Tromokratis
Tromokratis
TromokratisSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
7
Color:
Blue
Type:
Legendary Creature
Sub Type:
Kraken
Rarity:
R
Number:
55
Artist:
Matt Stewart
Power:
8
Toughness:
8
Text:
Tromokratis has hexproof unless it's attacking or blocking. Tromokratis can't be blocked unless all creatures defending player controls block it. (If any creature that player controls doesn't block this creature, it can't be blocked.)
. You add Kruphix, God of Horizons
Kruphix, God of Horizons
Kruphix, God of HorizonsSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Legendary Enchantment Creature
Sub Type:
God
Rarity:
M
Number:
152
Artist:
Daarken
Power:
4
Toughness:
7
Text:
Indestructible As long as your devotion to green and blue is less than seven, Kruphix isn't a creature. You have no maximum hand size. If unused mana would empty from your mana pool, that mana becomes colorless instead.
himself, as Damian did multiple times during the round, and you've got a lot of colorless mana floating around, waiting for something like Hydra Broodmaster
Hydra Broodmaster
Hydra BroodmasterSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
6
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Hydra
Rarity:
R
Number:
128
Artist:
Steve Prescott
Power:
7
Toughness:
7
Text:
{X}{X}{G}: Monstrosity X. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put X +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.) When Hydra Broodmaster becomes monstrous, put X X/X green Hydra creature tokens onto the battlefield.
to cause trouble.

In Game 1, it wasn't long before he had played out two copies of Dictate of Kruphix
Dictate of Kruphix
Dictate of KruphixSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
37
Artist:
Daarken
Text:
Flash At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card.
. We drew a lot of cards and built up our board states. He hit me with a Tromokratis
Tromokratis
TromokratisSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
7
Color:
Blue
Type:
Legendary Creature
Sub Type:
Kraken
Rarity:
R
Number:
55
Artist:
Matt Stewart
Power:
8
Toughness:
8
Text:
Tromokratis has hexproof unless it's attacking or blocking. Tromokratis can't be blocked unless all creatures defending player controls block it. (If any creature that player controls doesn't block this creature, it can't be blocked.)
I couldn't afford to block. Between cards and token copies, I had a Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
count of three when he played Scourge of Fleets
Scourge of Fleets
Scourge of FleetsSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
7
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Kraken
Rarity:
R
Number:
51
Artist:
Steven Belledin
Power:
6
Toughness:
6
Text:
When Scourge of Fleets enters the battlefield, return each creature your opponents control with toughness X or less to its owner's hand, where X is the number of Islands you control.
, where X was 3. I desperately looked at my cards and played an Overload
Overload
OverloadSet: Invasion
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
157
Artist:
Gary Ruddell
Text:
Kicker 2 (You may pay an additional 2 as you play this spell.)Destroy target artifact if its converted mana cost is 2 or less. If you paid the kicker cost, destroy that artifact if its converted mana cost is 5 or less instead.
ed Mizzium Skin
Mizzium Skin
Mizzium SkinSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Scott Chou
Text:
Target creature you control gets +0/+1 and gains hexproof until end of turn. Overload {1}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of "target" with "each.")
, giving all my creatures enough toughness to avoid being knocked back to my hand. On my turn, I drew three cards, one of which was a fourth Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
, which I played for the win.

For Game 2, I sideboarded in two copies of Hubris
Hubris
HubrisSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
41
Artist:
Seb McKinnon
Text:
Return target creature and all Auras attached to it to their owners' hands.
for Negate
Negate
NegateSet: Morningtide
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Text:
Counter target noncreature spell.
and Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus NaiadSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment Creature
Sub Type:
Nymph
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
David Palumbo
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bestow {4}{U} (If you cast this card for its bestow cost, it's an Aura spell with enchant creature. It becomes a creature again if it's not attached to a creature.) Flying Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying.
. As soon as he could, Damian played a Prophet of Kruphix
Prophet of Kruphix
Prophet of KruphixSet: Theros
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
199
Artist:
Winona Nelson
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
Untap all creatures and lands you control during each other player's untap step. You may cast creature cards as though they had flash.
. My first spell was Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the HuntSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
U
Number:
59
Artist:
Karl Kopinski
Text:
Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.
, and I knew I was in trouble. He cast a Horizon Chimera
Horizon Chimera
Horizon ChimeraSet: Theros
Cost:
4
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Chimera
Rarity:
U
Number:
194
Artist:
Sam Burley
Power:
3
Toughness:
2
Text:
Flash (You may cast this spell any time you could cast an instant.) Flying, trample Whenever you draw a card, you gain 1 life.
and started beating on me relentlessly. I eventually put a stop to that by Bestowing a Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus NaiadSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment Creature
Sub Type:
Nymph
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
David Palumbo
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bestow {4}{U} (If you cast this card for its bestow cost, it's an Aura spell with enchant creature. It becomes a creature again if it's not attached to a creature.) Flying Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying.
on Karametra's Acolyte
Karametra's Acolyte
Karametra's AcolyteSet: Theros
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Druid
Rarity:
U
Number:
160
Artist:
Chase Stone
Power:
1
Toughness:
4
Text:
{T}: Add an amount of {G} to your mana pool equal to your devotion to green. (Each {G} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to green.)
, but ultimately there were too many creatures for me to handle.

We reached the end of the round before the end of the game. During the five turns, I managed to get my Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
count to three again. Damian cast Whelming Wave
Whelming Wave
Whelming WaveSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
4
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
57
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Text:
Return all creatures to their owners' hands except for Krakens, Leviathans, Octopuses, and Serpents.
; I cast Negate
Negate
NegateSet: Morningtide
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Text:
Counter target noncreature spell.
. He cast another Whelming Wave
Whelming Wave
Whelming WaveSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
4
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
57
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Text:
Return all creatures to their owners' hands except for Krakens, Leviathans, Octopuses, and Serpents.
; I groaned. He was able to recast all of his creatures immediately, whereas I wound up having to discard a bunch. Ultimately, it all ended in a draw.

Round 3
So, moving on with a record of 0-1-1, I sat down opposite Tristan.

Game 1 is a blur. My notes show my life total rapidly declining, finally all scratched out, with the word “Red” as the only explanation. It was then that I called his deck Red Aggro/Burn; not a clever name, but woefully descriptive.

I sideboarded in a Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's ResolveSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
127
Artist:
Svetlin Velinov
Text:
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
and a Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder MageSet: Magic 2014 Core Set
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Merfolk Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
73
Artist:
John Severin Brassell
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When Tidebinder Mage enters the battlefield, tap target red or green creature an opponent controls. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control Tidebinder Mage.
for two copies of Negate
Negate
NegateSet: Morningtide
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Text:
Counter target noncreature spell.
. Truthfully, I probably had better choices to pull out than Negate
Negate
NegateSet: Morningtide
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Text:
Counter target noncreature spell.
, but that's what I did.

In Game 2, I managed to land a Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
, but it got hit with a Warleader's Helix
Warleader's Helix
Warleader's HelixSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
4
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
116
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Warleader's Helix deals 4 damage to target creature or player and you gain 4 life.
, which provided the only life total change on Tristan's side. My own life total went from 20 to 16 thanks to a Stormbreath Dragon
Stormbreath Dragon
Stormbreath DragonSet: Theros
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Dragon
Rarity:
M
Number:
143
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flying, haste, protection from white {5}{R}{R}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.) When Stormbreath Dragon becomes monstrous, it deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of cards in that player's hand.
. Then down to 8 because of a second Stormbreath Dragon
Stormbreath Dragon
Stormbreath DragonSet: Theros
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Dragon
Rarity:
M
Number:
143
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flying, haste, protection from white {5}{R}{R}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.) When Stormbreath Dragon becomes monstrous, it deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of cards in that player's hand.
.

At least I was able to finally go to the bathroom.

Round 4
I inadvertently sat next to my Round 4 opponent, Sarah, for quite a while, waiting for the previous round to end. The entire time, she was hyperactive and talkative. I wondered aloud how to bottle up her energy to make a fortune.

Then Round 4 began and she sat opposite me, stony faced and uncommunicative. I mean it, she literally didn't talk at all; she relied on mostly gestures to tell me what she was doing. And, oh! If only her deck didn't manhandle me so badly.

Her first creature was a Vaporkin
Vaporkin
VaporkinSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
C
Number:
72
Artist:
Seb McKinnon
Power:
2
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Vaporkin can block only creatures with flying.
, which got in some early damage. I put down a Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus NaiadSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment Creature
Sub Type:
Nymph
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
David Palumbo
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bestow {4}{U} (If you cast this card for its bestow cost, it's an Aura spell with enchant creature. It becomes a creature again if it's not attached to a creature.) Flying Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying.
to put a stop to the Vaporkin
Vaporkin
VaporkinSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
C
Number:
72
Artist:
Seb McKinnon
Power:
2
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Vaporkin can block only creatures with flying.
beats, which worked right up until she cast Magma Spray
Magma Spray
Magma SpraySet: Shards Of Alara
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
108
Artist:
Jarreau Wimberly
Text:
Magma Spray deals 2 damage to target creature. If that creature would be put into a graveyard this turn, remove it from the game instead.
. I'm pretty sure she didn't miss a combat phase. Add Bladetusk Boar
Bladetusk Boar
Bladetusk BoarSet: Zendikar
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Boar
Rarity:
C
Number:
118
Artist:
Paul Bonner
Power:
3
Toughness:
2
Text:
Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
and it was all over except the bleeding.

I sideboarded in Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's ResolveSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
127
Artist:
Svetlin Velinov
Text:
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
, Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder MageSet: Magic 2014 Core Set
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Merfolk Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
73
Artist:
John Severin Brassell
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When Tidebinder Mage enters the battlefield, tap target red or green creature an opponent controls. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control Tidebinder Mage.
, two copies of Deadly Recluse
Deadly Recluse
Deadly RecluseSet: Magic 2010
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Spider
Rarity:
C
Number:
175
Artist:
Warren Mahy
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
Reach (This creature can block creatures with flying.) Deathtouch (Creatures dealt damage by this creature are destroyed. You can divide this creature's combat damage among any of the creatures blocking or blocked by it.)
and a Bow of Nylea
Bow of Nylea
Bow of NyleaSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
153
Artist:
Yeong-Hao Han
Text:
Attacking creatures you control have deathtouch. {1}{G}, {T}: Choose one — Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature; or Bow of Nylea deals 2 damage to target creature with flying; or you gain 3 life; or put up to four target cards from your graveyard on the bottom of your library in any order.
for both copies of Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the HuntSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
U
Number:
59
Artist:
Karl Kopinski
Text:
Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.
, two of Omenspeaker
Omenspeaker
OmenspeakerSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
57
Artist:
Dallas Williams
Power:
1
Toughness:
3
Text:
When Omenspeaker enters the battlefield, scry 2. (Look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom of your library and the rest on top in any order.)
, and the Prowler's Helm
Prowler's Helm
Prowler's HelmSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Sub Type:
Equipment
Rarity:
U
Number:
219
Artist:
Igor Kieryluk
Text:
Equipped creature can't be blocked except by Walls. Equip {2}
.

In Game 2, I got out an early Deadly Recluse
Deadly Recluse
Deadly RecluseSet: Magic 2010
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Spider
Rarity:
C
Number:
175
Artist:
Warren Mahy
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
Reach (This creature can block creatures with flying.) Deathtouch (Creatures dealt damage by this creature are destroyed. You can divide this creature's combat damage among any of the creatures blocking or blocked by it.)
to keep Sarah's creatures off me for a little while. She played out an Omenspeaker
Omenspeaker
OmenspeakerSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
57
Artist:
Dallas Williams
Power:
1
Toughness:
3
Text:
When Omenspeaker enters the battlefield, scry 2. (Look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom of your library and the rest on top in any order.)
and a Vaporkin
Vaporkin
VaporkinSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
C
Number:
72
Artist:
Seb McKinnon
Power:
2
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying Vaporkin can block only creatures with flying.
but it was the Bladetusk Boar
Bladetusk Boar
Bladetusk BoarSet: Zendikar
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Boar
Rarity:
C
Number:
118
Artist:
Paul Bonner
Power:
3
Toughness:
2
Text:
Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
again that did me in. She tricked it out with Titan's Strength
Titan's Strength
Titan's StrengthSet: Theros
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
145
Artist:
Karl Kopinski
Text:
Target creature gets +3/+1 until end of turn. Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)
like it weren't no thing. There was nothing I could do to stop her assault. It ended very quickly.

Post-mortem
It should come as no surprise that this deck is not a real tournament contender. Its only hope is being matched up with another midrange deck. Aggro decks simply steamroll over it; I didn't play against a control deck, but I can imagine that would have its own set of problems.

So, the night ended with this deck going 0-2-1 (though my actual record was 0-3-1). I was originally enthusiastic about my non-loss, particularly since I did manage to get to my primary win condition. Damian had said it was the only time he'd ever seen a game end due to Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.
tactics. It was a proud moment for me, but ultimately it was more dumb luck than anything else.

But I'll take it. I set out to do the improbable and accomplished it enough to satisfy the itch I had to try it.

And now all of these “win the game” cards have rotated out of Standard. When we get more of them, will I try a new version of this deck?

I don't think it's likely. Still, if they break out something new and interesting, I'll consider it. I prefer, though, to move on to new and different sorts of jank.

alt.win.con decklist:
Instant (11)

2x Cancel
Cancel
CancelSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Counter target spell.

1x Dissolve
Dissolve
DissolveSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
47
Artist:
Wesley Burt
Text:
Counter target spell. Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)

2x Essence Scatter
Essence Scatter
Essence ScatterSet: Magic 2010
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Artist:
Jon Foster
Text:
Counter target creature spell.

1x Mizzium Skin
Mizzium Skin
Mizzium SkinSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Scott Chou
Text:
Target creature you control gets +0/+1 and gains hexproof until end of turn. Overload {1}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of "target" with "each.")

2x Negate
Negate
NegateSet: Morningtide
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
43
Artist:
Jeremy Jarvis
Text:
Counter target noncreature spell.

3x Ranger's Guile
Ranger's Guile
Ranger's GuileSet: Innistrad
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
201
Artist:
Steve Prescott
Text:
Target creature you control gets +1/+1 and gains hexproof until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)


Land (23)
7x Forest
Forest
ForestSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add G to your mana pool.

11x Island
Island
IslandSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add U to your mana pool.

1x Temple of Abandon
Temple of Abandon
Temple of AbandonSet: Theros
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Number:
224
Artist:
Mike Bierek
Text:
Temple of Abandon enters the battlefield tapped. When Temple of Abandon enters the battlefield, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.) {T}: Add {R} or {G} to your mana pool.

2x Temple of Deceit
Temple of Deceit
Temple of DeceitSet: Theros
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Number:
225
Artist:
Raymond Swanland
Text:
Temple of Deceit enters the battlefield tapped. When Temple of Deceit enters the battlefield, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.) {T}: Add {U} or {B} to your mana pool.

1x Temple of Mystery
Temple of Mystery
Temple of MysterySet: Theros
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Number:
226
Artist:
Noah Bradley
Text:
Temple of Mystery enters the battlefield tapped. When Temple of Mystery enters the battlefield, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.) {T}: Add {G} or {U} to your mana pool.

1x Temple of Plenty
Temple of Plenty
Temple of PlentySet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
0
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Number:
165
Artist:
Noah Bradley
Text:
Temple of Plenty enters the battlefield tapped. When Temple of Plenty enters the battlefield, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.) {T}: Add {G} or {W} to your mana pool.


Creature (17)
4x Biovisionary
Biovisionary
BiovisionarySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
146
Artist:
Ryan Barger
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
At the beginning of the end step, if you control four or more creatures named Biovisionary, you win the game.

3x Elusive Krasis
Elusive Krasis
Elusive KrasisSet: Gatecrash
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Fish Mutant
Rarity:
U
Number:
160
Artist:
Wesley Burt
Power:
0
Toughness:
4
Text:
Elusive Krasis is unblockable. Evolve (Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if that creature has greater power or toughness than this creature, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)

3x Elvish Mystic
Elvish Mystic
Elvish MysticSet: Magic 2014 Core Set
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf Druid
Rarity:
C
Number:
169
Artist:
Wesley Burt
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
{T}: Add {G} to your mana pool.

2x Karametra's Acolyte
Karametra's Acolyte
Karametra's AcolyteSet: Theros
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Druid
Rarity:
U
Number:
160
Artist:
Chase Stone
Power:
1
Toughness:
4
Text:
{T}: Add an amount of {G} to your mana pool equal to your devotion to green. (Each {G} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to green.)

2x Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus Naiad
Nimbus NaiadSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment Creature
Sub Type:
Nymph
Rarity:
C
Number:
56
Artist:
David Palumbo
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Bestow {4}{U} (If you cast this card for its bestow cost, it's an Aura spell with enchant creature. It becomes a creature again if it's not attached to a creature.) Flying Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has flying.

3x Omenspeaker
Omenspeaker
OmenspeakerSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
C
Number:
57
Artist:
Dallas Williams
Power:
1
Toughness:
3
Text:
When Omenspeaker enters the battlefield, scry 2. (Look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom of your library and the rest on top in any order.)


Enchantment (4)
1x Aqueous Form
Aqueous Form
Aqueous FormSet: Theros
Cost:
1
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
C
Number:
39
Artist:
Slawomir Maniak
Text:
Enchant creature Enchanted creature can't be blocked. Whenever enchanted creature attacks, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)

2x Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the Hunt
Bred for the HuntSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
U
Number:
59
Artist:
Karl Kopinski
Text:
Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.

1x Pin to the Earth
Pin to the Earth
Pin to the EarthSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
C
Number:
45
Artist:
Johann Bodin
Text:
Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets -6/-0.


Planeswalker (2)
1x Jace, Architect of Thought
Jace, Architect of Thought
Jace, Architect of ThoughtSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
4
Color:
Blue
Type:
Planeswalker
Sub Type:
Jace
Rarity:
M
Number:
44
Artist:
Jaime Jones
Text:
+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature an opponent controls attacks, it gets -1/-0 until end of turn. -2: Reveal the top three cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile into your hand and the other on the bottom of your library in any order. -8: For each player, search that player's library for a nonland card and exile it, then that player shuffles his or her library. You may cast those cards without paying their mana costs.

1x Vraska the Unseen
Vraska the Unseen
Vraska the UnseenSet: Return to Ravnica
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Planeswalker
Sub Type:
Vraska
Rarity:
M
Number:
208
Artist:
Aleksi Briclot
Text:
+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Vraska the Unseen, destroy that creature. -3: Destroy target nonland permanent. -7: Put three 1/1 black Assassin creature tokens onto the battlefield with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game."


Sorcery(2)
2x Stolen Identity
Stolen Identity
Stolen IdentitySet: Gatecrash
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
53
Artist:
Clint Cearley
Text:
Put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of target artifact or creature. Cipher (Then you may exile this spell card encoded on a creature you control. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)


Artifact (1)
1x Prowler's Helm
Prowler's Helm
Prowler's HelmSet: Theros
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Sub Type:
Equipment
Rarity:
U
Number:
219
Artist:
Igor Kieryluk
Text:
Equipped creature can't be blocked except by Walls. Equip {2}


Sideboard (15)
1x Bow of Nylea
Bow of Nylea
Bow of NyleaSet: Theros
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Legendary Enchantment Artifact
Rarity:
R
Number:
153
Artist:
Yeong-Hao Han
Text:
Attacking creatures you control have deathtouch. {1}{G}, {T}: Choose one — Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature; or Bow of Nylea deals 2 damage to target creature with flying; or you gain 3 life; or put up to four target cards from your graveyard on the bottom of your library in any order.

1x Consign to Dust
Consign to Dust
Consign to DustSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
119
Artist:
Andreas Rocha
Text:
Strive — Consign to Dust costs {2}{G} more to cast for each target beyond the first. Destroy any number of target artifacts and/or enchantments.

2x Deadly Recluse
Deadly Recluse
Deadly RecluseSet: Magic 2010
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Spider
Rarity:
C
Number:
175
Artist:
Warren Mahy
Power:
1
Toughness:
2
Text:
Reach (This creature can block creatures with flying.) Deathtouch (Creatures dealt damage by this creature are destroyed. You can divide this creature's combat damage among any of the creatures blocking or blocked by it.)

2x Hubris
Hubris
HubrisSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
41
Artist:
Seb McKinnon
Text:
Return target creature and all Auras attached to it to their owners' hands.

1x Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's Resolve
Mortal's ResolveSet: Born of the Gods
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
127
Artist:
Svetlin Velinov
Text:
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)

1x Pithing Needle
Pithing Needle
Pithing NeedleSet: Saviors of Kamigawa
Color:
Colorless
Rarity:
R
Number:
158

2x Plummet
Plummet
PlummetSet: Magic 2011
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
190
Artist:
Pete Venters
Text:
Destroy target creature with flying.

1x Renowned Weaver
Renowned Weaver
Renowned WeaverSet: Journey into Nyx
Cost:
1
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Human Shaman
Rarity:
C
Number:
137
Artist:
Yohann Schepacz
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
{1}{G}, Sacrifice Renowned Weaver: Put a 1/3 green Spider enchantment creature token with reach onto the battlefield. (It can block creatures with flying.)

1x Sea God's Revenge
Sea God's Revenge
Sea God's RevengeSet: Theros
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
61
Artist:
Eric Velhagen
Text:
Return up to three target creatures your opponents control to their owners' hands. Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.)

2x Skylasher
Skylasher
SkylasherSet: Dragon's Maze
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Insect
Rarity:
R
Number:
49
Artist:
Dan Scott
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Flash Skylasher can't be countered. Reach, protection from blue

1x Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder Mage
Tidebinder MageSet: Magic 2014 Core Set
Cost:
2
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Merfolk Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
73
Artist:
John Severin Brassell
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
When Tidebinder Mage enters the battlefield, tap target red or green creature an opponent controls. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control Tidebinder Mage.


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