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Just Say No - Michael Macfarlane (10/9/2007)

Hello, Magic connoisseurs, this deck is a lesson in how to say “No.” I’d like to say this is a deck where your friends just might make decks to beat yours. I feel I’ve done it right when I play a friend who taps the top card of their deck and says “I made this just for YOUR (fill in the obnoxious name you came up with for your annoyingly successful) deck, and you’re toast, buddy.” I find it funny that a deck might get beat half the time, but if you managed to royally screw your opponent out of some great creature or combo, it sticks in their head as “Oh, schazbot, it’s THAT deck again.”

Sidenote: My wife ignored my ‘silly habit’ for 5 years, until one day she agreed to try it (I must have compromised with a chick flick). After showing her the basic rules with a white angel deck, I proceeded to bend and pervert most of those rules by killing her with a blue deck (Stoopid! Stoopid!). Somehow, she found patience to try again, and 2 years later, has learned to appreciate and employ milling and counters with style. This is her second-most played deck, after the angels.

On to the deck. I originally tried splashing green for mana acceleration, but found that my U/B cards required UU or BB, and that was too tough to muddle through. My solution was 2 Prismatic Lens
Prismatic Lens
Prismatic LensSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
C
Number:
262
Artist:
Alan Pollack
Text:
T: Add 1 to your mana pool. 1, T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
, 2 Dreadship Reef
Dreadship Reef
Dreadship ReefSet: Time Spiral
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
U
Number:
271
Artist:
Lars Grant-West
Text:
T: Add 1 to your mana pool. 1, T: Put a storage counter on Dreadship Reef. 1, Remove X storage counters from Dreadship Reef: Add X mana in any combination of U and/or B to your mana pool.
, and 2 Terramorphic Expanse
Terramorphic Expanse
Terramorphic ExpanseSet: Time Spiral
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
C
Number:
279
Artist:
Dan Scott
Text:
T, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card and put it into play tapped. Then shuffle your library.
. Once again, this is Time Spiral
Time Spiral
Time SpiralSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
103
Artist:
Michael Sutfin
Text:
Remove Time Spiral from the game. Each player shuffles his or her graveyard and hand into his or her library, then draws seven cards. You untap up to six lands.
Block, and I’ve had a ball with it. I started with 3 Dralnu, Lich Lord
Dralnu, Lich Lord
Dralnu, Lich LordSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Legendary Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie Lord
Rarity:
R
Number:
237
Artist:
Greg Staples
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
If damage would be dealt to Dralnu, sacrifice that many permanents instead. T: Target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard has flashback until end of turn. Its flashback cost becomes equal to its mana cost as you play it. (You may play that card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then remove it from the game.)
, but after meeting a couple of ping and burn decks, I’d rarely play the guy- yes, this deck counters spells, but if he gets hit, just bend over and grab those ankles.

I took a long time coming up with this title (seriously):

“NO”

Creatures (10)
1 Dralnu, Lich Lord
Dralnu, Lich Lord
Dralnu, Lich LordSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Legendary Creature
Sub Type:
Zombie Lord
Rarity:
R
Number:
237
Artist:
Greg Staples
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
If damage would be dealt to Dralnu, sacrifice that many permanents instead. T: Target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard has flashback until end of turn. Its flashback cost becomes equal to its mana cost as you play it. (You may play that card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then remove it from the game.)

1 Serra Sphinx
Serra Sphinx
Serra SphinxSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Sphinx
Rarity:
r
Number:
62
Artist:
Daren Bader
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flying, vigilance

1 Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir
Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir
Teferi, Mage of ZhalfirSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
5
Color:
Blue
Type:
Legendary Creature
Sub Type:
Human Wizard
Rarity:
R
Number:
83
Artist:
D. Alexander Gregory & Jeremy Jarvis
Power:
3
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flash (You may play this spell any time you could play an instant.) Creature cards you own that aren't in play have flash. Each opponent can play spells only any time he or she could play a sorcery.

3 Spiketail Drake
Spiketail Drake
Spiketail DrakeSet: Prophecy
Cost:
5
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Drake
Rarity:
U
Number:
48
Artist:
Michael Sutfin
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Flying Sacrifice Spiketail Drake: Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3.
bGluZw==
4 Draining Whelk
Draining Whelk
Draining WhelkSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
6
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Illusion
Rarity:
R
Number:
57
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flash (You may play this spell any time you could play an instant.) Flying When Draining Whelk comes into play, counter target spell. Put X +1/+1 counters on Draining Whelk, where X is that spell's converted mana cost.


Spells (26)
4 Pongify
Pongify
PongifySet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
44
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. That creature's controller puts a 3/3 green Ape creature token into play.

4 Ovinize
Ovinize
OvinizeSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
u
Number:
57
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/1 until end of turn.

4 Cancel
Cancel
CancelSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Counter target spell.

3 Shrouded Lore
Shrouded Lore
Shrouded LoreSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
u
Number:
91
Artist:
Kev Walker
Text:
Target opponent chooses a card in your graveyard. You may pay B. If you do, repeat this process except that opponent can't choose a card already chosen for Shrouded Lore. Then put the last chosen card into your hand.

4 Dash Hopes
Dash Hopes
Dash HopesSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
68
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
When you play Dash Hopes, any player may pay 5 life. If a player does, counter Dash Hopes. Counter target spell.

4 Treacherous Urge
Treacherous Urge
Treacherous UrgeSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
82
Artist:
Steven Belledin
Text:
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You may put a creature card from it into play under your control. That creature has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn.

3 Enslave
Enslave
EnslaveSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
U
Number:
70
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
Enchant creature You control enchanted creature. At the beginning of your upkeep, enchanted creature deals 1 damage to its owner.


Artifacts (2)
2 Prismatic Lens
Prismatic Lens
Prismatic LensSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
2
Color:
Colorless
Type:
Artifact
Rarity:
C
Number:
262
Artist:
Alan Pollack
Text:
T: Add 1 to your mana pool. 1, T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.


Land (22)
2 Terramorphic Expanse
Terramorphic Expanse
Terramorphic ExpanseSet: Time Spiral
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
C
Number:
279
Artist:
Dan Scott
Text:
T, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card and put it into play tapped. Then shuffle your library.

12 Island
Island
IslandSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add U to your mana pool.

8 Swamp
Swamp
SwampSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add B to your mana pool.


Now, the goal of the deck is to pummel their spells to the floor. There’s 15 counterspells here- that’s one out of every 4 cards in the deck. Obviously, the Whelk won’t be played for a while, but when you play it, you’re more likely countering a larger spell. Say it with me, “No, that 10-costing Disintegrate
Disintegrate
DisintegrateSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Text:
Disintegrate does X damage to one target. If target dies this turn, target is removed from the game entirely.
is now making my Whelk a 11/11 – Thanks!” Remember to thank your opponent.

Treacherous Urge
Treacherous Urge
Treacherous UrgeSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
82
Artist:
Steven Belledin
Text:
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You may put a creature card from it into play under your control. That creature has haste. Sacrifice it at end of turn.
is useful even if you don’t get a creature- you now know what you might counter next. But it’s great to say, “No, that Thorn Elemental
Thorn Elemental
Thorn ElementalSet: Urza's Destiny
Cost:
7
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elemental
Rarity:
R
Number:
123
Artist:
rk post
Power:
7
Toughness:
7
Text:
Thorn Elemental may deal its combat damage to defending player as though it weren't blocked.
would look so much better on the field attacking you.” BUT WAIT – there’s more – don’t just take that creature and let it die: while damage is on the stack, use Pongify
Pongify
PongifySet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
44
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. That creature's controller puts a 3/3 green Ape creature token into play.
.

Pongify
Pongify
PongifySet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
44
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. That creature's controller puts a 3/3 green Ape creature token into play.
is undoubtedly the best one-drop blue spell for me. It says “controller,” not “owner.” Therefore, with the previous paragraph, you not only take a creature out of their hand and beat them over the head with it, you now have an angry ape token to block with right there. I love making those monkeys pop out of nowhere. If a player announces they’re in the attack phase, say, “No, Rakdos the Defiler
Rakdos the Defiler
Rakdos the DefilerSet: Dissension
Color:
Multicolor
Rarity:
R
Number:
129
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
is now a *pop* smelly monkey that just came into play, and has summoning sickness.” You can even do that fun finger in the mouth thing for the popping sound effect. My group of friends likes to make monkey sounds and joke about chimps who throw feces when that card comes out. I found that ‘Pong’ not only is a fun game from the 70’s, but is a term for odorous. As in simian scat odor. Hey, monkey poop can make almost anyone laugh. [Editor's note: Heh.]

You can then return any counter you might need with Dralnu or Shrouded Lore
Shrouded Lore
Shrouded LoreSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
u
Number:
91
Artist:
Kev Walker
Text:
Target opponent chooses a card in your graveyard. You may pay B. If you do, repeat this process except that opponent can't choose a card already chosen for Shrouded Lore. Then put the last chosen card into your hand.
. It’s a hoot watching an opponent choose between a Cancel
Cancel
CancelSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Counter target spell.
and a Dash Hopes
Dash Hopes
Dash HopesSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
68
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
When you play Dash Hopes, any player may pay 5 life. If a player does, counter Dash Hopes. Counter target spell.
.

Oh, and by the way, if you can do this, you’ll get a really sour face from your enemy (because they will consider themselves the enemy even if you still don’t): play a Dash Hopes
Dash Hopes
Dash HopesSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
68
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
When you play Dash Hopes, any player may pay 5 life. If a player does, counter Dash Hopes. Counter target spell.
, betting they take the 5 damage to keep whatever neato spell they just played, and then play Cancel
Cancel
CancelSet: Time Spiral
Cost:
3
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
51
Artist:
Mark Poole
Text:
Counter target spell.
to finish it off. I’ll leave the smug “No,” statement up to you, because I usually have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from guffawing when I pull that one off.

My favorite reaction, however, is if you steal their super-cool creature with Enslave
Enslave
EnslaveSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Sub Type:
Aura
Rarity:
U
Number:
70
Artist:
Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
Text:
Enchant creature You control enchanted creature. At the beginning of your upkeep, enchanted creature deals 1 damage to its owner.
. “No, you now get to take 1 damage per upkeep while Ms. Serra Angel
Serra Angel
Serra AngelSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
5
Color:
White
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Angel
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Power:
4
Toughness:
4
Text:
Flying Attacking does not cause Serra Angel to tap.
serves me for a bit. Besides, she says I’m cuter.” They might even start scrambling to avoid said beastie from pounding on them – sometimes blocking with 2 or more creatures of their own just to make the pain go away.

Teferi can help you throw a Spiketail Drake
Spiketail Drake
Spiketail DrakeSet: Prophecy
Cost:
5
Color:
Blue
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Drake
Rarity:
U
Number:
48
Artist:
Michael Sutfin
Power:
3
Toughness:
3
Text:
Flying Sacrifice Spiketail Drake: Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3.
bGluZw== out as a (sacrificed) counterspell, just to further frustrate someone. And how come HE’S not a planeswalker card, eh?!? Did he get too much of the spotlight in the latest novels? At least he’s quoted on Ovinize
Ovinize
OvinizeSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
u
Number:
57
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/1 until end of turn.
.

Remember Ovinize
Ovinize
OvinizeSet: Planar Chaos
Color:
Blue
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
u
Number:
57
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/1 until end of turn.
to protect not only what you steal, but it may just make a few points of life stay on your side. Read the flavor text on that one. Out loud to your opponent. (Ovine creatures are, BTW, sheep – just like Bovine is for Cows- get it? I laughed.)

You too, can royally frustrate your opponents with this deck. I don’t think I’ve lost a 2 Headed-Giant game with that on my side. It doesn’t really win more than half of the 1 vs. 1 games I play, but the wins are really memorable, the losses usually leave your opponent miffed anyway.

Enjoy!

Next time- Peasant format!


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