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CardShark Content - Nik Stapleton (4/10/2004)

For many Magic players, there are two great joys: Winning, and winning in the most annoying way possible. This article will focus on the second joy.
Of course, building decks, and even losing can sometimes be fun, but when you build a deck that annoys someone to no end, you usually end up giggling like a maniac, and that’s real fun!

The first theme that will make your friends hate you and your enemies plot to assassinate you is Land Destruction. Obviously, the focus is on killing your opponent’s lands, while zapping them to death with direct damage. A disclaimer, this deck will probably make your little brother cry, so play with discretion.

The first thing we want to do is put together all the land destruction cards. 4 Stone rain and 4 m\Molten rain will do quite nicely, but we’re going to go further. We’ll also be playing 4 Reap
Reap
ReapSet: Tempest
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Ron Chironna
Text:
Return any number of target cards from your graveyard to your hand. You cannot choose more cards than the number of black permanents target opponent controls.
and sow, 4 Demolish
Demolish
DemolishSet: Odyssey
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
183
Artist:
Gary Ruddell
Text:
Destroy target artifact or land.
, and 4 Devastate
Devastate
DevastateSet: Prophecy
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Destroy target land. Devastate deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.
. As you can see, this is also going to add some green to the build. Most of the green in here will be landfetching, since we will be playing a smaller than normal land pool.

Now, to add extra annoyingness to the deck, we’re adding 2 Panotopic mirrors. On those we will imprint our land killers, and if you’re feeling really mean, throw in a time walk. That’s too cruel, so we’ll be skipping that card in this build.

That does it for the land killing part of the deck, and that puts us at 22 cards. We have room for 20 more cards (we’re playing a slim land supply), so we’re adding direct damage, and some green land searching.

First, we add the infamous Lightning bolt, four of them. This is another card that just never gets old. 4 Fireball
Fireball
FireballSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Text:
Fireball does X damage total, divided evenly (round down) among any number of targets. Pay 1 extra mana for each target beyond the first.
s are also good, because this deck is able to amass some crazy amounts of land. 2 Barbed lightning are useful, and we will play 2 Icy manipulators in order to tap any lands we’re not able to destroy. 4 Shock
Shock
ShockSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
206
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Text:
Shock deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
s are good in order to keep your opponent down along with those Lightning bolts. Add 2 Rampant growth and 2 Journey of discovery and we’re all set.

Now the lands: If you own dual lands, play ‘em, otherwise, here’s my land layout. You need 10 mountains, 7 forests and a darksteel citadel (just in case).

So the final decklist is:
4 Stone rain
4 Molten rain
4 Demolish
Demolish
DemolishSet: Odyssey
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
183
Artist:
Gary Ruddell
Text:
Destroy target artifact or land.

4 Reap and Sow
Reap and Sow
Reap and SowSet: Darksteel
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
81
Artist:
Rob Alexander
Text:
Choose one: Destroy target land; or search your library for a land card, put that land card into play, and then shuffle your library. Entwine: 1G

4 Devastate
Devastate
DevastateSet: Prophecy
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Artist:
Greg Staples
Text:
Destroy target land. Devastate deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.

2 Panotopic mirror
4 Lightning bolt
4 Shock
Shock
ShockSet: Classic Sixth Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
206
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Text:
Shock deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

4 Fireball
Fireball
FireballSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Text:
Fireball does X damage total, divided evenly (round down) among any number of targets. Pay 1 extra mana for each target beyond the first.

2 Barbed lightning
2 Icy manipulator
2 Rampant growth
2 journey of discovery
10 mountain
7 forest
1 Darksteel citadel

If you like, you can swap out the shocks for talons of pain, and if you have other direct damage spells you like better, switch ‘em in and see what happens. Try to play reap and sow with its entwine as much as possible, since the land searching is very necessary, but also never let your opponent have more than 2 lands out at any time.

The other theme I’m showing you today is the most annoying elf deck I’ve managed to construct. Keep in mind elves really don’t hold up against the powerful archetypes, so keep this one set aside for your fun games with a friend.

Our first little piece of evil will revolve around life gain via Wellwisher
Wellwisher
WellwisherSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
300
Artist:
Christopher Rush
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: You gain 1 life for each Elf in play.
. While this card by itself cannot do much, there is a card to combo it with that will make opponents cry: Ambush
Ambush
AmbushSet: Homelands
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Alan Rabinowitz
Text:
All blocking creatures gain first strike until end of turn.
commander. This card turns all you forests into little 1/1 elves, making it possible to gain as much as 15 life a turn! Therefore, we will play 4 Ambush
Ambush
AmbushSet: Homelands
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Alan Rabinowitz
Text:
All blocking creatures gain first strike until end of turn.
commanders and 4 Wellwisher
Wellwisher
WellwisherSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
300
Artist:
Christopher Rush
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: You gain 1 life for each Elf in play.
s. Next we want even more combo with the Commander, who quickly becomes the centerpiece of the deck. Add 4 Timberwatch elves in order to get stat bonuses for having forests out as well! I also have 2 Wirewood channelers in here in order to have fast mana. 2 Wirewood symbiotes to save a couple elves from destruction effects, and 2 Elvish soultillers to recycle your elves infinitely.

Now, what’s a green deck without all its big fatties? To cover the timmy half of the fun we will add 1 Thorn elemental, 1 Fangren firstborn, and 1 Plated slagwurm. To get them out we will play 1 Tooth and nail, and 1 Elvish piper. Fun fun!

Now the landfetching (as you can tell, I’m a big fan of land searching, it lets you play more spells and less lands without hurting the deck at all. Just make sure to unclump your land between games.) 4 Wood elves do nicely, since you get more elf cards and land in the same card. I also play 2 Yavimaya granger, but don’t pay its echo, just use it as a throwaway blocker if it is needed. 2 Journey of discovery 4 One with nature and 2 Rampant growth round out the department nicely.

I also have a Volrath
Volrath
VolrathSet: Vanguard
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
8
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Power:
+2
Toughness:
-3
Text:
Whenever any of your creatures is put into your graveyard from play, you may put that creature on top of your library.
’s laboratory in order to spit out more elves each turn, but it is not vital if you can’t get one. What finishes the spells in the deck you ask? Why, the only vanilla card in the deck! 4 Elvish warriors finish the deck quite nicely, and they are cheap and have fairly good stats. Throw in 18 forests and we’re done.

The final decklist for this one comes out thus:
4 Ambush Commander
Ambush Commander
Ambush CommanderSet: Scourge
Cost:
5
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
R
Number:
111
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Forests you control are 1/1 Green elf creatures that are still land.
1G , Sacrifice an elf : Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

4 Wellwisher
Wellwisher
WellwisherSet: Onslaught
Cost:
2
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
300
Artist:
Christopher Rush
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
T: You gain 1 life for each Elf in play.

4 Timberwatch elf
2 Wirewood Channeler
Wirewood Channeler
Wirewood ChannelerSet: Legions
Cost:
4
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
U
Number:
144
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Add X mana of any one color to your mana pool, where X is the number of
Elves in play.

2 Wirewood symbiote
2 Elvish soultiller
1 Thorn elemental
1 Fangren firstborn
1 Plated slagwurm
1 Elvish piper
4 Wood elves
2 Yavimaya Granger
Yavimaya Granger
Yavimaya GrangerSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Elf
Rarity:
C
Number:
118
Artist:
Henry Van Der Linde
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Echo (During your next upkeep after this permanent comes under your control, pay its casting cost or sacrifice it.) When Yavimaya Granger comes into play, you may search your library for a basic land card and put that land into play tapped. Shuffle your library afterward.

4 Elvish warrior
1 Tooth and nail
2 Journey of discovery
2 Rampant growth
4 One with nature
1 Volrath
Volrath
VolrathSet: Vanguard
Sub Type:
Character
Rarity:
X
Number:
8
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Power:
+2
Toughness:
-3
Text:
Whenever any of your creatures is put into your graveyard from play, you may put that creature on top of your library.
’s laboratory

Advice for this deck is much simpler. Don’t pay echo on granger unless you need to, Play all the landsearching you have before anything else, and put one with nature on your opponent’s creatures, since it will give you a land every time they attack.

Have fun making your friends cry and groan, and if you have any ideas I overlooked, please send them to me at themageofblackestnight AT yahoo DOT com.


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