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CardShark Content - Pat Charbonneau (1/24/2002)

Here is a casual theme deck that I have been playing for a little while. The theme is ´´Toilet Humor´´, and all of the spells have something to do with the unmentionable goings-on in the bathroom. In addition, the deck is a pretty good land-destruction deck. The decklist is as follows. The names of the cards say it all.

Bathroom.dec

Creatures (10)
4: Silent Assassin
Silent Assassin
Silent AssassinSet: Mercadian Masques
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Mercenary
Rarity:
R
Number:
160
Artist:
rk post
Power:
2
Toughness:
1
Text:
3B: Destroy target blocking creature at end of combat.

4: Orcish Squatters
Orcish Squatters
Orcish SquattersSet: Fifth Edition
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Orcs
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Richard Kane Ferguson
Power:
2
Toughness:
3
Text:
0: Gain control of target land defending player controls as long as you control Orcish Squatters. Orcish Squatters deals no combat damage this turn. Use this ability only if Orcish Squatters is attacking and unblocked and only once each turn.

2: Gerrard's Irregulars
Gerrard's Irregulars
Gerrard's IrregularsSet: Mercadian Masques
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Soldier
Rarity:
C
Number:
192
Artist:
Eric Peterson
Power:
4
Toughness:
2
Text:
Trample; haste (This creature may attack and tap the turn it comes under your control.)


Spells (24)
2: Steam Blast
Steam Blast
Steam BlastSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
219
Artist:
Mike Raabe
Text:
Steam Blast deals 2 damage to each creature and player.

2: Void
Void
VoidSet: Invasion
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Number:
287
Artist:
Kev Walker
Text:
Choose a number. Destroy all artifacts and creatures with converted mana cost equal to that number. Then target player reveals his or her hand and discards from it all nonland cards with converted mana cost equal to the number.

4: Lay Waste
Lay Waste
Lay WasteSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
201
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
Destroy target land.Cycling 2 (You may pay 2 and discard this card from your hand to draw a card. Play this ability as an instant.)

4: Fissure
Fissure
FissureSet: Fourth Edition
Cost:
5
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Text:
Bury target land or creature.

4: Despoil
Despoil
DespoilSet: Prophecy
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
62
Artist:
Scott M. Fischer
Text:
Destroy target land. Its controller loses 2 life.

4: Befoul
Befoul
BefoulSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
116
Artist:
Pete Venters
Text:
Destroy target land or nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.

4: Duress
Duress
DuressSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
132
Artist:
Lawrence Snelly
Text:
Look at target opponent's hand and choose a noncreature, nonland card there. That player discards that card.


Lands(26)
9: Swamp
Swamp
SwampSet: Oversize Cards
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
X
Artist:
Tony Roberts
Text:
T: Add B to your mana pool.

8: Mountain
Mountain
MountainSet: Arabian Nights
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Text:
Tap to add R to your mana pool.

4: Sulfurous Springs
Sulfurous Springs
Sulfurous SpringsSet: Fifth Edition
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Jeff Miracola
Text:
T: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool.T: Add B or R to your mana pool. Sulfurous Springs deals 1 damage to you.

4: Badlands
Badlands
BadlandsSet: Revised Edition
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Rob Alexander
Text:
T: Add either R or B to your mana pool.Counts as both mountains and swamp and is affected by spells that affect either. If a spell destroys one of these land types, this card is destroyed; if a spell alters one of these land types, the other land type is unaffected.
(or Cinder Marsh
Cinder Marsh
Cinder MarshSet: Tempest
Color:
Land
Type:
Land
Rarity:
U
Artist:
John Matson
Text:
T: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool.T: Add B or R to your mana pool. Cinder Marsh does not untap during your next untap phase.
)

The most descriptive and defining card is, of course, ´´Lay Waste
Lay Waste
Lay WasteSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
201
Artist:
Terese Nielsen
Text:
Destroy target land.Cycling 2 (You may pay 2 and discard this card from your hand to draw a card. Play this ability as an instant.)
´´. Upon defeating your opponent, you are obligated to make a flushing sound or say ´´Another one flushed!´´

Don't worry if you don't have all of the cards. There are plenty of other appropriate choices. Some of my favorites include: Tar Pit Warrior
Tar Pit Warrior
Tar Pit WarriorSet: Visions
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Cyclops
Rarity:
C
Artist:
George Pratt
Power:
3
Toughness:
4
Text:
If Tar Pit Warrior is the target of a spell or effect, bury Tar Pit Warrior.
, Stench of Decay
Stench of Decay
Stench of DecaySet: Alliances
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
All non-artifact creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn.
, Squirming Mass
Squirming Mass
Squirming MassSet: Urza's Destiny
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Horror
Rarity:
C
Number:
73
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Squirming Mass can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and black creatures.
, Spreading Plague
Spreading Plague
Spreading PlagueSet: Invasion
Cost:
5
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
125
Artist:
Scott Bailey
Text:
Whenever a creature comes into play, destroy all other creatures that share a color with it. They can't be regenerated.
, Sicken
Sicken
SickenSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
C
Number:
156
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Text:
Enchanted creature gets -1/-1.Cycling 2 (You may pay 2 and discard this card from your hand to draw a card. Play this ability as an instant.)
, Rain of Filth
Rain of Filth
Rain of FilthSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
151
Artist:
Stephen Daniele
Text:
Each land you control gains Sacrifice this land: Add B to your mana pool until end of turn.
, Pit Spawn
Pit Spawn
Pit SpawnSet: Exodus
Cost:
7
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Beast
Rarity:
R
Number:
70
Artist:
Thomas M. Baxa
Power:
6
Toughness:
4
Text:
First strike During your upkeep, pay BB or sacrifice Pit Spawn.If Pit Spawn damages any creature, remove that creature from the game.
, Pit Imp
Pit Imp
Pit ImpSet: Tempest
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Imp
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Phil Foglio
Power:
0
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying B: Pit Imp gets +1/+0 until end of turn. You cannot spend more than BB in this way each turn.
, Noxious Vapors
Noxious Vapors
Noxious VaporsSet: Planeshift
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
49
Artist:
Ben Thompson
Text:
Each player reveals his or her hand and chooses one card of each color from it, then discards all other nonland cards from it.
, Nausea
Nausea
NauseaSet: Exodus
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
67
Artist:
Jeff Miracola
Text:
All creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn.
, Misshapen Fiend
Misshapen Fiend
Misshapen FiendSet: Mercadian Masques
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Mercenary
Rarity:
C
Number:
147
Artist:
Adam Rex
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Flying
, Minion of the Wastes
Minion of the Wastes
Minion of the WastesSet: Tempest
Cost:
6
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Minion
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Scott Kirschner
Power:
*
Toughness:
*
Text:
Trample When you play Minion of the Wastes, pay any amount of life.Minion of the Wastes has power and toughness each equal to that amount.
, Lord of the Pit
Lord of the Pit
Lord of the PitSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
7
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Demon
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Mark Tedin
Power:
7
Toughness:
7
Text:
Flying, trample You must sacrifice one of your own creatures during your upkeep or Lord of the Pit does 7 damage to you. You may still attack with Lord of the Pit even if you failed to sacrifice a creature. Lord of the Pit may not be sacrificed to itself.
, Giant Cockroach
Giant Cockroach
Giant CockroachSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Insect
Rarity:
C
Number:
54
Artist:
Heather Hudson
Power:
4
Toughness:
2
, Foul Imp
Foul Imp
Foul ImpSet: Stronghold
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Imp
Rarity:
C
Number:
9
Artist:
Jim Nelson
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Flying When Foul Imp comes into play, lose 2 life.
, Foul Familiar
Foul Familiar
Foul FamiliarSet: Ice Age
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Spirit
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Anson Maddocks
Power:
3
Toughness:
1
Text:
Cannot be declared as a blocking creature.B: Pay 1 life to return Foul Familiar to owner's hand. Effects that prevent or redirect damage cannot be used to counter this loss of life.
, Demonic Tutor
Demonic Tutor
Demonic TutorSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Douglas Shuler
Text:
Search your library for one card and take it into your hand. Reshuffle your library afterwards.
(get it? ´´tooter!´´), Death Pit Offering
Death Pit Offering
Death Pit OfferingSet: Nemesis
Cost:
4
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
56
Artist:
Pete Venters
Text:
When Death Pit Offering comes into play, sacrifice all creatures you control. Creatures you control get +2/+2.
, Dark Ritual
Dark Ritual
Dark RitualSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Sandra Everingham
Text:
Add BBB to your mana pool.
, Contamination
Contamination
ContaminationSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
123
Artist:
Stephen Daniele
Text:
During your upkeep, sacrifice a creature or sacrifice Contamination.Whenever a land is tapped for mana, it produces B instead of its normal type and amount.
, Bubbling Muck
Bubbling Muck
Bubbling MuckSet: Urza's Destiny
Cost:
1
Color:
Black
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
54
Artist:
Greg & Tim Hildebrandt
Text:
Until end of turn, whenever a player taps a swamp for mana, it produces an additional B.
, Brood of Cockroaches
Brood of Cockroaches
Brood of CockroachesSet: Visions
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Insects
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Geofrey Darrow
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
If Brood of Cockroaches is put into your graveyard from play, pay 1 life and return Brood of Cockroaches to your hand at end of turn.
, Bottomless Pit
Bottomless Pit
Bottomless PitSet: Stronghold
Cost:
3
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
U
Number:
1
Artist:
Kev Walker
Text:
During each player's upkeep, that player discards a card at random.
, Bad Moon
Bad Moon
Bad MoonSet: Revised Edition
Cost:
2
Color:
Black
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Jesper Myrfors
Text:
All black creatures in play gain +1/+1.
, Slimy Kavu
Slimy Kavu
Slimy KavuSet: Invasion
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Kavu
Rarity:
C
Number:
170
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
T: Target land becomes a swamp until end of turn.
, Primordial Ooze
Primordial Ooze
Primordial OozeSet: Fifth Edition
Cost:
1
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Ooze
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Randy Gallegos
Power:
1
Toughness:
1
Text:
Primordial Ooze attacks each turn if able.During your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on Primordial Ooze. Then pay X, where X is equal to the number of these counters on Primordial Ooze, or tap Primordial Ooze and it deals X damage to you.
, Mudslide
Mudslide
MudslideSet: Ice Age
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Brian Snoddy
Text:
Creatures without flying do not untap during their controller's untap phase. At the end of his or her upkeep, each player may pay an additional 2 per creature to untap a creature without flying he or she controls.
, Laccolith Grunt
Laccolith Grunt
Laccolith GruntSet: Nemesis
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Beast
Rarity:
C
Number:
87
Artist:
Arnie Swekel
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
Whenever Laccolith Grunt becomes blocked, you may have it deal damage equal to its power to target creature. If you do, Laccolith Grunt deals no combat damage this turn.
, Kaervek's Purge
Kaervek's Purge
Kaervek's PurgeSet: Mirage
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Richard Kane Ferguson
Text:
Destroy target creature with casting cost equal to X. If that creature is put into the graveyard in this way, Kaervek's Purge deals to the creature's controller an amount of damage equal to the creature's power.
, Destructive Flow
Destructive Flow
Destructive FlowSet: Planeshift
Cost:
3
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
102
Artist:
Don Hazeltine
Text:
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices a nonbasic land.
, Impending Disaster
Impending Disaster
Impending DisasterSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchantment
Rarity:
R
Number:
82
Artist:
Pete Venters
Text:
During your upkeep, if there are seven or more lands in play, sacrifice Impending Disaster and destroy all lands.
, Goblin Offensive
Goblin Offensive
Goblin OffensiveSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
192
Artist:
Carl Critchlow
Text:
Put X Goblin tokens into play. Treat these tokens as 1/1 red creatures.
, Blaster Mage
Blaster Mage
Blaster MageSet: Mercadian Masques
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Spellshaper
Rarity:
C
Number:
175
Artist:
George Pratt
Power:
2
Toughness:
2
Text:
R, tap, Discard a card from your hand: Destroy target Wall.
, Cauldron Dance
Cauldron Dance
Cauldron DanceSet: Invasion
Cost:
6
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Number:
238
Artist:
Donato Giancola
Text:
Play Cauldron Dance only during combat.Return target creature card from your graveyard to play. That creature gains haste. Return it to your hand at end of turn. Put a creature card from your hand into play. That creature gains haste. Put it into your graveyard at end of turn.
, Fling
Fling
FlingSet: Stronghold
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Number:
82
Artist:
Paolo Parente
Text:
Sacrifice a creature: Fling deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature's power to target creature or player.
, Backdraft
Backdraft
BackdraftSet: Legends
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Brian Snoddy
Text:
Backdraft does half of the damage (rounded down) done by one sorcery cast this turn to the caster of the sorcery.
, Flame Jet
Flame Jet
Flame JetSet: Urza's Destiny
Cost:
2
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
C
Number:
81
Artist:
John Avon
Text:
Cycling 2Flame Jet deals 3 damage to target player.
, Fireblast
Fireblast
FireblastSet: Visions
Cost:
6
Color:
Red
Type:
Instant
Rarity:
C
Artist:
Michael Danza
Text:
You may sacrifice two mountains instead of paying Fireblast's casting cost. Fireblast deals 4 damage to target creature or player.
, Fanning the Flames
Fanning the Flames
Fanning the FlamesSet: Stronghold
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
U
Number:
80
Artist:
Ron Spencer
Text:
Buyback 3 (You may pay an additional 3 when you play this spell. If you do, put it into your hand instead of your graveyard as part of the spell's effect.) Fanning the Flames deals X damage to target creature or player.
, Destructive Urge
Destructive Urge
Destructive UrgeSet: Urza's Saga
Cost:
3
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchant Creature
Rarity:
U
Number:
180
Artist:
Andrew Robinson
Text:
Whenever enchanted creature successfully deals combat damage to a player, that player sacrifices a land.
, Caverns of Despair
Caverns of Despair
Caverns of DespairSet: Legends
Cost:
4
Color:
Red
Type:
Enchant World
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Harold McNeill
Text:
All players may attack with no more than two creatures each turn and block with no more than two creatures each turn.
, and Phyrexian Purge
Phyrexian Purge
Phyrexian PurgeSet: Mirage
Cost:
4
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Sorcery
Rarity:
R
Artist:
Robert Bliss
Text:
Pay 3 life per target: Destroy any number of target creatures.
.

I have been toying with the idea of a red_green version simply so I can play with one card: Segmented Wurm
Segmented Wurm
Segmented WurmSet: Tempest
Cost:
5
Color:
Multicolor
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Wurm
Rarity:
U
Artist:
Jeff Miracola
Power:
5
Toughness:
5
Text:
Whenever Segmented Wurm is the target of a spell or ability, put a -1/-1 counter on it.
. This one makes me laugh everytime I think of it. You could even put in Simian Grunts
Simian Grunts
Simian GruntsSet: Urza's Legacy
Cost:
3
Color:
Green
Type:
Creature
Sub Type:
Apes
Rarity:
C
Number:
113
Artist:
Pete Venters
Power:
3
Toughness:
4
Text:
Echo (During your next upkeep after this permanent comes under your control, pay its casting cost or sacrifice it.) You may play Simian Grunts any time you could play an instant.
.

I hope this deck brings you as much fun as it has me. It doesn't matter as much whether you win or lose because everyone will be laughing as you topdeck the next ´´gross´´ card.

Keep it Fun!

irc: Dr. Chaos


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