2001)

Some tournament reports begin with a wacky story about the bizarre and hilarious adventures that occurred on the way to the tournament. I, however, find bizarre and hilarious adventures to be a mental distraction to the game of Magic, and so this Saturday, I simply woke up and headed off to The Outpost in Grand Rapids, where head judge Glenn Cannon was kind enough to run a Grand Prix Trial for 31 players to compete for the coveted 3 byes for Grand Prix: Detroit.

There's one strange thing about sealed deck tournaments and me: I never really like the decks I get until after the tournament. Every deck I get comes out of the packs looking like a total loser to me. I complain and whine to everyone around me, and work and agonize over how I will make this pile win, until finally I whip it into the best shape I can get it, at which time when I am inevitably asked how my deck is, I usually respond, ´´It's playable.´´ So, if you read this, and you ever run into me at a sealed deck tournament, you might as well not even bother to ask, as every deck is ´´just OK,´´ at least until after the tournament, when I might acknowledge, that ´´Yes, that deck was pretty good.´´

That being said, the deck I got to register was absolutely nuts. You could have picked the 3 worst colors and made top 8 with the resulting deck. Maybe you wanted to go G/U/W, for the Treva, Questing Phaldagriff, 2 Hobbles, and 2 Rushing Rivers. Or, maybe you wanted to apply those Rushing Rivers to the more popular B/R/U build, to combine them with aggressive creatures, solid removal, and black flyers. While we were waiting around for deck registration to finish, I told anyone who cared to listen that the deck was absolutely monkey-proof. The deck could be given to the biggest monkey in the room, and he would make top 8 with it. I thought my theory would go unproven when the deck was given to Al McCandless, who can not be considered a monkey by any means, but he did his best to prove me right; he made top 8, despite misregistering his lands, receiving a game loss, and being forced to play his GUW deck with Swamps instead of Islands in the last round of the Swiss.

The deck I received to build from was not so amazing as the deck I registered. Al happened to be sitting next to me for deck construction. He told me he got the deck I registered, and agreed that it was great, but when he asked me how my deck was, I replied, ´´The best thing I can say about this deck is that it was correctly registered.´´ Of course, I was just being my normal self, and not giving credit to the solid deck I received. Here are the cards I had to work with:

Blue: Vodalian Merchant, Traveler's Cloak, Temporal Distortion, Tolarian Emissary, Disrupt, Gainsay, Arctic Merfolk, Dream Thrush, Tower Drake, Hunting Drake, Faerie Squadron

White: Prison Barricade, 2x Disciple of Kangee, Holy Day, Protective Sphere, Blinding Light, Restrain, Liberate, Strength of Unity, Surprise Deployment, Glimmering Angel

Green: Llanowar Elite, Quirion Dryad, Pincer Spider, Root Greevil, Pygmy Kavu, Rooting Kavu, Kavu Climber, Gaea's Might, Explosive Growth, Falling Timber, Wandering Stream

Red: Scarred Puma, Goblin Spy, Keldon Mantle, Tectonic Instability, Planeswalker's Fury, Singe, Kavu Aggressor, Halam Djinn, Slimy Kavu, Slingshot Goblin, Mire Kavu, Thunderscape Battlemage, Zap, Magma Burst

Black: Urborg Skeleton, Maggot Carrier, Bog Initiate, Phyrexian Battleflies, Nightscape Apprentice, Ravenous Rats, Nightscape Battlemage, Duskwalker, Sinister Strength, 2x Bog Down, Hypnotic Cloud, Agonizing Demise

Artifact: Drake-Skull Cameo

Gold: Malicious Advice, Lobotomy, Steel Leaf Paladin, Gerrard's Command, Sparkcaster, Galina's Knight, Samite Archer, Wings of Hope, Dromar the Banisher, Cavern Harpy, Vodalian Zombie, Lava Zombie, Crosis's Charm

Land: Ancient Spring and a bunch o' basics

The big question for this deck was whether to play with Dromar. I looked at a B/U/W build, but knew that the B/U/R was more solid. I considered splashing the Ancient Spring and a Plains or two for the Dromar, but decided not to. I figured I'd probably win a game in some dramatic fashion because I had included Dromar, but would balance that out by losing another game to getting goofy mana from a deck that tried to play too many colors. Also, including Dromar probably would have meant cutting some of the discard, and I felt discard was a strong element in this deck, with the Rat, the Thunderscape Battlemage, 2 Bog Down, and the Hypnotic Cloud. Here's what I ended up playing:

1:Nightscape Apprentice
1:Arctic Merfolk
1:Ravenous Rats
1:Dream Thrush
1:Cavern Harpy
1:Vodalian Zombie
1:Tower Drake
1:Slingshot Goblin
1:Lava Zombie
1:Mire Kavu
1:Nightscape Battlemage
1:Thunderscape Battlemage
1:Hunting Drake
1:Duskwalker
1:Faerie Squadron
1:Sinister Strength
2:Bog Down
1:Hypnotic Cloud
1:Zap
1:Crosis's Charm
1:Magma Burst
1:Agonizing Demise
5:Mountain
6:Island
6:Swamp

Round 1 - Stan Rutkowsky, B/U/W
This match never got interesting, as I was able to capitalize on Stan's poor draws during both games. In game 1, Stan didn't put on his poker face when he drew the Island he had been waiting for, so I kept it from being too useful with my Dream Thrush. My Vodlian Zombie, Arctic Merfolk, and Mire Kavu finished him up before he was able to get his mana going. In game 2, Stan chose to play first, and had to mulligan to 6. I was able to extend this card advantage by playing early Ravenous Rats, Bog Down, and Thunderscape Battlemage with the black kicker. This left him without answers for my threats, and the Cavern Harpy, Battlemage, and Duskwalker finished him off.
2-0 games, 1-0 matches

Round 2 - Scott Campbell, G/W/U/b/r
Scott's deck seemed to be mostly G/W/U, but he did have swamps, mountains, and mana-help such as Harrow. In game 1, Bog Down and critter-removal, including an Agonizing Demise on a Wayfaring Giant, kept him from having the resources to deal with my Dream Thrush with Sinister Strength and Lava Zombie. My deck just came out like it was supposed to for game 1.

In game 2, Scott mulliganed to 6, and still had some trouble with his land. I got a Nightscape Battlemage, and used the red kicker to further his mana difficulties. When I got enough mana to destroy land every turn with the Cavern Harpy and Battlemage while beating with the Arctic Merfolk, Scott scooped.
4-0 games, 2-0 matches

Round 3 - Eric Taylor, B/R/U/w
I was kind of looking forward to this match, as for some reason, Eric's apartment is my own personal Bermuda Triangle for Magic. Don't get me wrong, the reason I drive over there to playtest is because I acknowledge that Eric, Pat, and Aaron are better players than I, and losing more than my share of games to them can only improve my game, but that doesn't entirely account for the bizarre happenings that occur there. Outside of Eric's apartment, I was hoping to take a crack at him, unaffected by the bizarre mana-screw and bad draw madness that goes on in his home.

Eric's deck was actually amazingly like mine, although he got more relevant non-basic lands than I did, so he splashed the Dromar. He won the die roll, and chose to play first. We each played some creatures and traded some removal, and I Bogged him Down twice, so he of course felt no guilt at all by returning the Bog Down favor to me. I got some card advantage and beatdown mileage from my Hunting Drake, and my flyers were looking good, but his Dromar came to play. I had the game-winning Magma Burst in hand, but had no Mountain in play - I got the Dream Thrush to manufacture a Mountain a turn too late, and died to the dragon.

Game 2 went somewhat similarly, except that I got to draw first, and my sideboarded Gainsay stopped his Dromar. I also got the Mountain this game, and finished him with a little help from Magma Burst.

After 2 good games, Game 3 was a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin', and I was on the receiving end. My deck really never got up and running, and Eric rolled me over.
5-2 games, 2-1 matches

Round 4 - Dan Rowland, R/G/W/B
In game 1, my deck could have been called ´´Don't look up,´´ as a Sinister Strengthed Dream Thrush, Hunting Drake, and Faerie Squadron flew over his forces while card advantage from Bog Down and the Drake left him short on answers. Game 2 was much more interesting, as we each did a little swinging with our critters. A Tower Drake was doing some good work, but became the victim of Dan's Death Bomb. It came down to racing my Dream Thrush and Vodalian Zombie against Dan's Salum Djinn, and my Soul Burn decided that I should win that race.
7-2 games, 3-1 matches

Round 5 - John Weldy, R/B/U
This was a totally unfortunate pairing. I was looking to draw in, but got paired up against my friend and Magic partner John Weldy, who didn't have the tiebreakers to draw in. Not only was I not able to draw in, but I had to compete against a friend, which would knock one of us out of the top 8.

During game 1, I thought I was in big trouble, as my mana was slow to develop, while he headed on up to 5 mana to hit my hand with a kickered Thunderscape Battlemage. We traded some occasional hits between his Battlemage and Metathran Transport and my Slingshot Goblin and Cavern Harpy, while each of us used our various removal spells to chase off the scarier critters. The Cavern Harpy really proved it's value in this game, although I also feel that John made a mistake, being a little to hasty to sacrifice his Metathran Transport to Death Bomb my Faerie Squadron at a 1-card disadvantage before the situation really got dire enough to warrant it. Probably, though, he just figured he'd have to do it eventually, so there was no reason to wait and take extra damage. He knew what he could possibly draw into from his deck better than I do, so it may have been the correct play. Either way, the Cavern Harpy came up strong this game, and I ended up coming back from the early mana stall to take game 1.

Game 2 was rather unfair, as he pretty much just drew red creatures, and I abused his unfortunate luck with Hunting Drake plus Cavern Harpy. 9-2 games, 4-1 matches

So at the end of the Swiss rounds, I was 4-1, 2nd seed in the top 8 along with Eric Taylor, Levi Danosky, Aaron Breider, Al McCandless, John Wolbert, Mark Gordon, and Scott Campbell. (If you're hoping for the correct spellings for names, you've come to the wrong place.)

The booster draft did not exactly go well for me. I got to see plenty of cards in my colors, but not necessarily the cards I needed to fill in all the gaps in my deck. I ended up with some great cards, but a mediocre deck, with a mana curve that pretty much started at 3:

1:Yavimaya Barbarian
1:Viashino Grappler
1:Caldera Kavu
1:Hooded Kavu
1:Kavu Recluse
1:Thunderscape Battlemage
1:Phyrexian Slayer
1:Firescreamer
2:Phyrexian Reaper
1:Shivan Wurm
1:Crosis's Attendant
1:Alloy Golem
1:Assault/Battery
1:Tribal Flames
1:Mourning
1:Terminate
1:Simoon
1:Recover
1:Soul Burn
1:Void
1:Plague Spores
1:Darigaaz's Caldera
7:Mountain
7:Swamp
3:Forest

Extra crap (presumably a sideboard): Rogue Kavu, Scarred Puma, 2x Keldon Mantle, Dark Suspicions (tech sideboard versus the decks with higher casting cost spells than me! Oh wait, that's not possible…), Scavenged Weaponry, Mourning, Escape Routes, Phantasmal Terrain, Sea Snidd, Quirion Explorer, Fertile Ground, Quirion Elves, Wandering Stream, Ardent Soldier, Daring Leap, 2x Stratadon, Sparring Golem, Archeological Dig, Tinder Farm, Irrigation Ditch

Quarterfinals - Mark Gordon, U/B/R Mark was complaining about his deck even more than me, so I had to be happy about that. He won the die roll, and chose to play first, which was fine by me. His early 3CC critters were wiped out by my Void, and Shivan Wurm decided to come out early to apply a fast clock. My Soul Burn decided the Wurm was taking too long, and came out to finish the game.

Game 2, Mark went first again and led with a Shoreline Raider. After a couple swings, he happily announced to the rest of the top 8 table that the Shoreline Raider would go all the way. That sounded ludicrous to me, and I threw a number of creatures in the way, but Mark had removal for them, and sure enough, even though he was joined by a few friends like Vodalian Zombie and Phyrexian Bloodstock, that darned Shoreline Raider turned sideways every turn until I was dead.

Game 3 I took some more embarrassing beats, this time from a Morgue Toad, but my deck got itself rolling and took care of the toad plus a few other creatures, while Hooded Kavu and Caldera Kavu finished the job off. Mark really did get the draft deck that was worse than mine. 11-3 games, 5-1 matches

Semifinals - Levi Danosky, B/R/G Levi delivered some shots in game 1 with a Slingshot Goblin and a Maggot Carrier, and I answered by deploying a Kavu Recluse and Caldera Kavu. He stepped up his creature size with a Phyrexian Reaper, so I stepped up my creature size with the Shivan Wurm. Who wins that fight?

Game 2 was another battle of the gray ogres that I eventually won by drawing bigger creatures - this time it was the 2 Phyrexian Reapers and Crosis's Attendant. These game descriptions are a little simplified, as we each traded some removal and tricks, but it pretty much came down to me having 3/3's to his 2/2's. 13-3 games, 6-1 matches

Finals - Aaron Breider, U/W/B In this match, Aaron's deck was just plain better than mine. His deck had a lot of card drawing, like 2 Sunscape Battlemages with various ways to bounce them and Benalish Heralds. In game 1, we ´´raced´´ my Phyrexian Slayer versus his Andradite Leech, and I of course lost that so-called race. During game 2 he just rolled me with card advantage, drawing tons of cards while using Hypnotic Cloud and 3 Recoils to keep my side crippled. When he attacked for lethal damage at the end of the game, he had only 2 cards left in his library, while I had barely gotten through half of mine yet, if even that. 13-5 games, 6-2 matches

If I have to get second place, I at least want to do so at a tournament with good prize support. For the $15 dollar entrance fee, there was at least ¼ box for the top 8, with first receiving 1 ¼ boxes of cards, and me receiving ¾ of a box of cards for 2nd. That's pretty good, I'd say, so hats off to Glenn Cannon and The Outpost in Grand Rapids for cooperating to provide a fine Grand Prix Trial.

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