2001)

What Common magic card, legal in Peasant Format, is hilarious to play, may help make Mono-Blue viable in Peasant Format, AND allow you show off your secret singing skills (we all know you do it in the shower)? If you read the top 8 decklist from the Peasant Format Tournament or my tournament report, ´´The Peasant Revolution has Begun,´´ you probably know that Blue did not make a strong showing in the Peasant format tournament at Gen Con. The tournament organizer lamented the lack of blue decks in the tournament and challenged those present to bring some blue Peasant decks next time. In response to that challenge, this article will discuss Clam Session, an Unglued card which helps blue against weenie beatdown, the dominant deck type of the format.

Most magic strategy articles discussing a single magic card describe when and how to best use a particular card in a game situation. Here’s the discussion: This card gives you a 2/5 creature for three mana and that’s a very efficient creature. Play it. Use it to block and stall against aggressive decks. Attack whenever appropriate. This efficient creature is pretty straightforward with no special abilities.

Although Clam Session seems to have no special abilities, it has an unusual upkeep and this article will discuss how to pay for that upkeep and why, aside from the 2/5 creature for 1UU, it’s worth the trouble to pay it.

Card Title: Clam Session
Rarity: C
Card Type: Summon Clamfolk
Cost: 1UU
Pow/Tgh: 2/5
Card Text: When Clam Session comes into play, choose a word. During your upkeep, sing at least six words of a song, one of which must be the chosen word, or sacrifice Clam Session. You cannot repeat a song.
Flavor Text: ´´Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl . . . .´´
Artist: Randy Elliott

As you can see, the card has an apparent drawback: When Clam Session comes into play, choose a word. During your upkeep, sing at least six words of a song, one of which must be the chosen word, or sacrifice Clam Session. You cannot repeat a song.

Obviously, Clam Session is not for everyone. If you don’t want to make a spectacle of yourself, then you probably won’t want to use this card. If you can’t sing, you might assume this card is not for you, but as I will explain later, lack of singing ability can actually be a good thing. With some advanced preparation, the upkeep is very manageable assuming you’re willing to repeatedly embarrass yourself in public. Therefore, this article will discuss how to prepare for its upkeep, give an example of my song list that I used to maintain Clam Session’s upkeep, and provide some insights gathered from playtesting Clam Session, including the recognition that bad singing can be psychological torture for your opponents.

First, it’s important to discuss what the upkeep does not require. The upkeep does not require that you sing the songs WELL. It does not require that you sing it on key. It also does not require you sing the songs loudly or softly, but I think it’s clear your singing must be audible. Thus, you can adjust your volume according the amount of spectacle you wish to produce. Clam Session says that you must sing ´´at least six words´´ of each song, but does not tell you that you have to stop after six words. Thus, for those of you/us who wish to draw attention to yourselves, I think it would be great fun to sing A COMPLETE SONG at some point during your match, to create the maximum annoyance for your opponent and maximum embarrassment for yourself.

The card also does not require that you sing the songs from memory. This is the key to making Clam Session a viable Peasant Format card because with adequate preparation, the so-called drawback is not a drawback at all. Indeed, it can be made into an advantage. Thus, when I played in an Unglued draft last week at my local Magic shop, I pulled out my laptop which contained the song list I had researched for this article and used it to remember the song lyrics.

The song choices are, of course, very personal to you and what songs you actually know the music to. Many people will probably not be able to use my personal song list since they won’t know the music to the songs and therefore will not be able to sing the songs to maintain the upkeep.
What word should you choose when Clam Session comes into play?

I think there’s several ways to approach selection a word. One strategy for selecting a word is simply to think of a fun theme word to use and figure out all the songs you know with that theme word in it. For example, it would be fun to name the word ´´magic,´´ as a tribute to this card game we all enjoy. There are a lot of songs with the word magic in it, including ´´Puff the Magic Dragon...lived by the sea.´´ However, selecting the word based on theme makes it more likely that you will not be able to find enough songs that you’re familiar with, which may require you to learn songs, which is a great hassle.

A more practical strategy is to think of words that very commonly appear in songs. Although words such as ´´the´´ or ´´a´´ can be found in almost any song, I did not pick either of these since it didn't seem very interesting or fun.

When I began writing this article, I had five different target words in mind: BABY, DON’T, YOU, LOVE, and ME. All five of these words are extremely common words in songs because so many songs are about love and heartache. As a bonus, these five words make an easy-to-remember sentence to remember which reflects the sentiment of many, many songs out there. However, since I plan to have a written song list with lyrics with me when I play Clam Session, I really don’t care about being able to remember my five words.

My thinking at the time was that I could have a different word for each Clam Session I put into play and an extra word as backup if the Clam Session got bounced back to my hand.

SONGS CONTAINING THE WORD BABY

For my research, I used the internet webpage titled Ultimate 80’s Songs, which has a search engine that allows you to do a word search of the lyrics. The list below is the list I used to maintain my Clam Session during my Unglued Draft.

My search for the word BABY found 114 songs which contained the word BABY. Because I like 80s music, I used the website, Ultimate '80s Songs, at:

http://www.afn.org/~afn30091/80songsbytitle.html

I scanned this list for songs that I readily recognized and identified songs that had the target word and tried to see if I could remember how to sing that part of the song. When I found a song I could sing, I copied the name and title of the song as well as the portion of the lyrics which contained the song with enough nearby lyrics to remember how the music went. I stopped after 20 songs because I assumed that I won’t to keep my creature in play for more than 20 turns.

As you can see from the list below, I edited the song lyrics to just a few phrases. I cut down each song to just enough of the song so I could remember the flow of the music in the phrases near the word BABY.

If you know 80s songs, it might be fun to scan through this list to see which songs you would be able to sing to upkeep Clam Session; otherwise, you can skip down to read the rest of the article.

1. Venus - Bananarama

She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
I'm your Venus, I'm your fire
At your desire

2. When I'm With You - Sheriff

Baby, oh I get chills when I'm with you
Baby, my world stands still when I'm with you
When I'm with you

3. Hurts So Good - John Cougar Melloncamp

Hurt so good
Come on baby, make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don’t feel like it should
You make it hurt so good

4. When I See You Smile - Bad English

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh, I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

5. I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
Oooh-oh, I'm on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
I'm on fire

6. Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung

Take your baby by the hand
And make her do a high hand stand
Take your baby by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel

We were so in phase
In our dance hall days
We were cool on craze
When I, you and everyone we knew
Could believe, do, and share in what was true
Oh, I said

7. Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson

Say, say, say what you want
but don’t play games with my affection
Take, take, take what you need
but don’t leave me with no direction
All alone I sit home by the phone waiting for you baby
Through the years how can you stand to hear my pleading for you dear?
You know I'm crying, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

8. Borderline - Madonna

Stop playing with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby let it show
Honey don’t you fool around

9. Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites

My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself

11. Jeopardy - The Greg Kihn Band

Our love's in jeopardy, baby ooh
Our love's in jeopardy, baby ooh

12. Jeopardy - Weird Al Yankovic

I lost in jeopardy, baby ooh
I lost in jeopardy, baby ooh

13. Don't Do Me Like That- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Don’t do me like that, Don’t do me like that
Girl I love you baby, Don’t do me like that
Don’t do me like that, Don’t do me like that
Someday I'll need ya baby, Don’t do me like that

14. If This Is It - Huey Lewis & The News

If this is it
Please let me know
If this ain't love you'd better let me know
If this is it
I want to know
If this ain't love baby, just say so

15. Love Shack - The B-52's

The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Love Shack bay-bee! Love Shack baby!
Love Shack, that's where it's at!

16. You Dropped a Bomb on Me - Gap Band

You dropped a bomb on me, baby
You dropped a bomb on me, baby
You dropped a bomb on me.

17. Every Breath You Take - Police

Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night, I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I keep crying baby, baby please..................

18. Tainted Love - Soft Cell

Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love

19. Kokomo - Beach Boys

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go, Jamaica

19. Little Red Corvette - Price

Little red corvette
Baby you're much 2 fast
Little red corvette
U need a love that's gonna last

20. Jump - Van Halen

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real

[END OF SONG LIST]

I only had time to research and edit down 20 songs before I had to go do something else. (I only have internet access at my girlfriend's house right now since I recently moved.) But, I got a chance to use the list almost right away.

PLAY-TESTING EXPERIENCE: THE UNGLUED DRAFT

As fate would have it, the same week I began researching these songs, I happened to have my laptop with me when the guys at my local Magic shop decided to hold an Unglued draft. Naturally, I jumped at the chance to get some copies of Clam Session and maybe try out my song list.

During the draft, even though I only got passed one Clam Session, I actually got the Clam Session into play several times during the tournament. In part due to the Clam Session, I ended up winning the draft of 8 people.

I learned at least two significant lessons from that play-test experience. Please keep in mind that my playtesting experience was during an Unglued draft (which has few removal cards), so the power of the card may have been magnified since my opponents probably don't have many removal cards to waste on my Clam Session in their draft deck. In constructed play, they may be more able to remove Clam Session quickly or simply kill you to avoid having to hear you sing.

A. USING ONE LONG LIST IS EASIEST

You might be tempted to choose several words so that when you play the second or third Clam Session, you have a different word to name. After playing Clam Session during an Unglued draft, I realized that keeping track of the songs you’ve sang becomes quite a hassle if you have to shift between different song lists. If you have a different word for each Clam Session you have in play, then you have to keep track of which songs you’ve already sang for each list. This becomes troublesome if your lists overlap and you’ve cross-listed songs on more than one list. Even though you’re using the song for a different word, Clam Session does not permit you to repeat a song, so you don’t want to forget and re-use a song.

Thus, the best way to plan for Clam Session’s upkeep is to find one extremely common word and research a very long song list which you then use every time you play a Clam Session. Using a single word with an extremely long list of songs is easiest because you can keep track of how far along you are on one list rather than shuffling two or more lists during each upkeep.

Also, focusing your research on one, frequently used word makes certain that you will have enough songs to maintain all of your Clam Sessions.

During my Unglued draft, the judge allowed me to name the same word when I put a second Clam Session into play as long as I did not repeat any song.

Having one long list also can reduce the chance that your opponent can selectively destroy your Clam Sessions if you are short on songs for one of the words. For example, during my Unglued draft, I had a list of 20 songs for BABY, but only about 10 songs for DON’T. If I got out two Clam Sessions and named BABY and DON’T as the two words, after 9 turns, my opponent could kill the Clam Session on which I named BABY and I would only be able to upkeep my DON’T Clam Session one more turn. However, if instead I had 30 songs with the word BABY in them (and named BABY for both Clams), then I could still upkeep my clam session another 11 turns no matter which Clam he killed. At one point in the game, I had out a Clam Session and had called the word DON’T just to have some variety, but I later regretted this because I later began to worry that I was going to run out of songs for DON’T since my Clam Session just kept sitting back on defense for many turns. Although it never became a problem, I realized using one extremely long song list would have been much easier to manage and I would never be afraid of running out of new songs.

B. SINGING AS PYSCOLOGICAL WARFARE

When I went to Worlds in Toronto, Canada last month, I got to see some of the top players in the world compete and got to see that they too make mistakes. It really reinforced for me that a large part of playing Magic is the ´´mental game,´´ by which I mean the part of the game that requires having confidence in your abilities and being in full concentration of what’s happening in the game. Clam Session’s upkeep can be a great challenge to your opponent’s mental game by bringing in a great distraction.

Up to this point, I’ve discussed Clam Session’s upkeep as a disadvantage because it requires extra preparation and embarrassment. However, assuming you are in fact willing to sing, however badly, the disadvantage can become an advantage because your obnoxious singing can often annoy your opponent enough to distract them from concentrating on game play. If you sing badly enough, it may also incite your opponent to waste his energy trying to destroy the Clam Session.

I realized that singing badly can be a powerful psychological warfare tool against opponents when my opponent, a very good play who recently placed 11th at a Southern California Pro Tour Qualifier, began offering to ´´vouch´´ for my singing in order to avoid having to hear me sing. What did I do? Of course, I politely declined, explaining that the card Clam Session clearly states that it requires me to sing in order to keep it in play (after all, I wouldn’t want to cheat, would I?). My, it’s fun to annoy and distract your opponent this way! I also had other players in the draft (jokingly) express horror at the prospect of having to play against me, fearing they would have to try to play with my singing into their face every turn.

If you plan to use Clam Session upkeep to annoy your opponents and draw attention to yourself, here are a few suggestions to keep in mind.

1. Sing off key. For most of us, this won’t take much effort.

2. Sing Loudly. By singing loudly, you not only increase the annoyance to your opponent, you also ensure that others at the tournament also hear the torture your opponent is going through. This means that they will fear playing you and will anticipate having you face you and your Clam Sessions.

3. Don’t Stop After Six Words. Clam Session requires you to sing AT LEAST six words of the song, but does not require you to stop. If you know the song, feel free to sing many more than six words as a means to increase the annoyance to your opponent and drawing more attention to yourself. Since the card requires you to sing AT LEAST six words, you could decide to sing the whole song before continuing to your draw phase. However, in the spirit of Peasant Format, please don’t use Clam Session as a legal form of stalling. If you’ve won game one, you might be so happy that you want to sing a complete song to maintain your Clam Session’s upkeep. Don’t do that if the rounds are timed since it could be considered stalling and it’s just bad sportsmanship. However, feel free to sing a full song during the first game or if you’ve lost the first game.

4. Consider Bringing Accessories. You can bring a fake microphone to whip out whenever you need to sing Clam Session’s upkeep. Or else you could dress up like a lounge singer (if you don’t know what I mean, look at the art for Elvish Impersonator, another Unglued card). If you’re really ambitious, you can bring a microphone and a set of mini-speakers to make sure everyone at the tournament can hear you. If you have talented (or just obnoxious) friends, you could bring along back-up singers and coordinate their choreography. The bigger production you make out of it, the more fun (and potentially annoying) it will be!

5. Concentrate on the Game Yourself. Finally, the most important thing to remember about using Clam Session as psychological warfare is that you should not get thrown off your own game by Clam Session. That means that you need to be someone that can be conscientious about maintaining its upkeep or learn to do so. It also means that you should be physically prepared to sing every upkeep so that the strain on your vocal cords of repeatedly singing does not distract you from your game. It means that although it’s going to be great fun to make a spectacle of yourself during each upkeep, you need to get yourself back in the game after paying the upkeep.

When I was playing with Clam Session during the Unglued draft, after I had Clam Session out for five or six upkeeps, the novelty of the singing wore off, my opponent was annoyed but resigned to his fate, and I just had to concentrate on playing well to win the game.

6. Have fun. Like many Unglued cards, playing with Clam Session is one of the funniest things you’ll ever do during a Magic game. The great thing about Clam Session is that it’s a powerful card that can help you win the game by holding off aggressive decks AND it’s also a blast to play. Whether your goal is to merely make a great spectacle of yourself at the next Peasant Format Tournament, or it’s to win the whole tournament, the card Clam Session is a viable choice to put in your Blue-based deck.

SAMPLE DECK

Although there’s many ways to build a deck with Clam Session, I will leave you with one (completely untested) sample deck.

Mono-U Sligh-Hater (aka “MUSH”)

3 Sea Sprite (UNC)
1 Giant Tortoise
4 Clam Session
4 Weatherseed Faeries
4 Ophidian

4 Counterspell
4 Prohibit
4 Exclude

4 Repulse
4 Seal of Removal
1 Rushing River

2 Curiosity (UNC)

18 Island
4 Desert

CONCLUSION

In light of my playtesting, I plan to change my Clam Session word to YOU so that I will have the maximum number of songs from which to choose from in forming my list (There are 444 songs with the word YOU in it on the Ultimate 80s Song Website.

Because I will have a larger selection of songs, another reason I'm changing lists is so I will be able to create themes and song storylines within my song list. For example, my first six songs on my new list will form a storyline using 80s songs containing the word YOU. [See APPENDIX B for a really twisted story using all songs with the word YOU in them.] Keep in mind APPENDIX B is just the start of my song list. Although I probably won’t use all 444 songs available, I will try to edit down a list of 50 to 100 songs that I can use as my ultimate Clam Session song list.

Clam Session is a blast to play and is a huge 2/5 creature for just 1UU. Although the card seems to have a drawback, the upkeep can be managed with careful preparation and it can even be converted into an advantage by distracting your opponent from focusing on the game.

I hope you realize I am mostly joking when I say that you can use Clam Session as psychological warfare against your opponents. Although it's unclear whether my horrible singing really had any strategic impact on the games that I played, I have to admit I had tons of fun playing this card and seeing the expressions of horror on my opponents who expected to have to listen to my singing for many, many upkeeps. I hope you too will learn the power of the Clam Session.

Have fun singing.

APPRENDIX A

As you probably know, there are many words that is in many, many songs. For example, even simply using the 20 songs listed above, you could start song lists for the four other words I thought about researching: DON’T, YOU, LOVE, ME. Many of the above songs also contain one or more of those four words.

The following songs from the list above also contains the word DON’T:

Hurts So Good - John Cougar Melloncamp
Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
Borderline - Madonna
Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
Don't Do Me Like That- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Kokomo - Beach Boys

The following songs from the list above also contains the word YOU:

When I'm With You - Sheriff
Hurts So Good - John Cougar Melloncamp
When I See You Smile - Bad English
I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen
Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung
Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
Borderline - Madonna
Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
Don't Do Me Like That- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
You Dropped a Bomb on Me - Gap Band
Every Breath You Take - Police
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Jump - Van Halen

The following songs from the list above also contains the word LOVE:

Hurts So Good - John Cougar Melloncamp
Borderline - Madonna
Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
Jeopardy - The Greg Kihn Band
Don't Do Me Like That- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
If This Is It - Huey Lewis & The News
Love Shack - The B-52's
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Little Red Corvette - Price

The following songs from the list above also contains the word ME:

When I See You Smile - Bad English
Don't You Want Me - Human League
I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen
Borderline - Madonna
Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
Don't Do Me Like That- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
If This Is It - Huey Lewis & The News
You Dropped a Bomb on Me - Gap Band
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Jump - Van Halen

APPENDIX B

Here is a story told through a series of 80s songs which all contain the word YOU. The story basically involves a young boy and girl living in a rural area who grow up real fast. The boy gets the girl pregnant, but her father is not very understanding, so the two of them decide to run off to the city. After moving to the city, they quickly lose their innocence. It’s a sad story and perhaps a reflection on the drama that is embodied in many of the songs of the 80s. (I swear, this story is not a reflection on how sick and twisted my head is.)
As you will see, this song list, unlike the one above, lists the complete lyrics of the songs so that you can understand the storyline. If I were to edit the list to prepare to use it for paying for Clam Session’s upkeep, I would cut down each song list until I had just the few phrases near the word YOU, and just enough of the song so I could remember the flow of the music.

The headers are capitalized and describe the arc of the story, which can be seen in the song lyrics themselves. First, I'm showing the quick storyline with a playlist, then I will have the story headers with complete lyrics of each song.

--PLAYLIST--

HERE’S A STORY...
ABOUT A GIRL AND A BOY
1. Jack and Diane - John Cougar
GIRL GETS PREGNANT, SEEKS DAD’S ADVICE
2. Papa Don't Preach - Madonna
DAD’S NOT SO OPEN-MINDED, SO THEY THINK ABOUT RUNNING OFF TO THE CITY
3. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
THE TWO FINALLY DECIDE TO RUN OFF…
4. Young Turks - Rod Stewart
BOY GETS SICK OF POOR LIFE & SUGGESTS A SCHEME
5. Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys
THE MONEY-MAKING SCHEME
6. She's a Beauty - The Tubes
THE WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE
7. Private Dancer - Tina Turner

--STORY WITH COMPLETE LYRICS--

HERE’S A STORY...

ABOUT A GIRL AND A BOY

1. Jack and Diane - John Cougar

Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids growin' up in the heartland
Jackie gonna be a football star
Diane debutante backseat of Jackie's car

Suckin' on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze
Diane's sittin' on Jackie's lap
He's got his hand between her knees
Jackie say, ´´Hey Diane let's run off
Behind a shady tree
Dribble off those Bobby Brooks
Let me do what I please.´´
And Jackie say

CHORUS:
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone
Oh yeah say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone, they walk on

Jackie sits back reflects his thoughts for the moment
Scratches his head and does his best James Dean.
Well you know Diane, we oughta run off to the city
Diane says ´´Baby, you ain't missin' nuth-in´´
Jackie say-a

(chorus)

Gonna let it rock
Let it roll
Let the Bible Belt come and
Save my soul
Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon
Make us women and men

Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids done the best they can

GIRL GETS PREGNANT, SEEKS DAD’S ADVICE

2. Papa Don't Preach - Madonna

Papa I know you're going to be upset
'Cause I was always your little girl
But you should know by now
I'm not a baby

You always taught me right from wrong
I need your help, daddy please be strong
I may be young at heart
But I know what I'm saying

The one you warned me all about
The one you said I could do without
We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please

Chorus:

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh
I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm...

He says that he's going to marry me
We can raise a little family
Maybe we'll be all right
It's a sacrifice

But my friends keep telling me to give it up
Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up
What I need right now is some good advice, please

(chorus)

Daddy, daddy if you could only see
Just how good he's been treating me
You'd give us your blessing right now
'Cause we are in love, we are in love, so please

(chorus)

Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep
(repeat)

Oh, I'm gonna keep my baby, ooh
Don't you stop loving me daddy
I know, I'm keeping my baby

DAD’S NOT SO OPEN-MINDED, SO THEY THINK ABOUT RUNNING OFF TO THE CITY

3. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way

THE TWO FINALLY DECIDE TO RUN OFF...

4. Young Turks - Rod Stewart

Billy left his home with a dollar in his pocket and a head full of dreams
He said somehow, some way, it's gotta get better than this
Patti packed her bags, left a note for her momma, she was just seventeen
There were tears in her eyes when she kissed her little sister goodbye

They held each other tight as they drove on thru the night they were so exited
We got just one shot of life, let's take it while we're still not afraid
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you're undecided
And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands

CHORUS:
Young hearts beat free tonight
Time is on your side
Don't let them put you down, don't let 'em push you around
Don't let 'em ever change your point of view.

Paradise was closed so they headed for the coast in a blissful manner
They took a two room apartment that was jumping every night of the week
Happiness was found in each other's arms as expected, yeah
Billy pierced his ears, drove a pickup like a lunatic, ooh...

CHORUS

Young hearts beat free tonight
Time is on your side

Billy wrote a letter back home to Patti's parents tryin' to explain
He said we're both real sorry that it had to turn out this way
But there ain't no point in talking when there's nobody listening so we just ran away
Patti gave birth to a ten pound baby boy, yeah

Young hearts beat free tonight
Time is on your side
Young hearts beat free tonight
Time is on your side
Young hearts beat free tonight
Ttime in on your side

Young hearts gotta run free, be free, live free
Time is on, time is on your side
Time, time, time, time is on your side
Is on your side
Is on your side
Is on your side
Young heart beat free tonight
Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, yeah

BOY GETS SICK OF POOR LIFE & SUGGESTS A SCHEME

5. Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys

I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
You've got the brawn, I've got the brains
Let's make lots of -

I've had enough of scheming and messing around with jerks
My car is parked outside, I'm afraid it doesn't work
I'm looking for a partner, someone who gets things fixed
Ask yourself this question: Do you want to be rich?

I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
You've got the brawn, I've got the brains
Let's make lots of money

You can tell I'm educated, I studied at the Sorbonne
Doctored in mathematics, I could have been a don
I can program a computer, choose the perfect time
If you've got the inclination, I have got the crime

Oh, there's a lot of opportunities
If you know when to take them, you know?
There's a lot of opportunities
If there aren't, you can make them
Make or break them

I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
Let's make lots of -
(Aahhhhh) Money
(Aahhhhh)
(Aahhhhh - Di du da di da bu di ba)

You can see I'm single-minded, I know what I could be
How'd you feel about it, come and take a walk with me?
I'm looking for a partner, regardless of expense
Think about it seriously, you know, it makes sense

Let's (Got the brains)
Make (Got the looks)
Let's make lots of money (Oohh money)
(Let's) You've got the brawn
(Make) I've got the brains
Let's make lots of money (Oohh money)

I've got the brains (Got the brains)
You've got the looks (Got the looks)
Let's make lots of money (Oohh money)
Money

THE MONEY-MAKING SCHEME

6. She's a Beauty - The Tubes

Step right up and don't be shy
Because you will not believe your eyes
She's right here, behind the glass
You're gonna like her, 'cause she's got class

You can look inside another world
You get to talk to a pretty girl
She's everything you dream about...

But don't fall in love
She's a beauty
She's one in a million girls
She's a beauty
Why would I lie
Why would I lie?

You can say anything you like
But you can't touch the merchandise
She'll give you ev'ry penny's worth
But it will cost you a dollar first

You can step outside your little world [step outside]
You can talk to a pretty girl
She's everything you dream about

But don't fall in love
She's a beauty
She's one in a million girls
One in a million girls
Why would I lie
Why would I lie?

But don't fall in love
If you do you'll find out you're gonna lose
She's one in a million girls
One in a million girls
Why would I lie
Now why would I lie?

Step outside your world...

But don't fall in love
She's a beauty
She's one in a million girls
One in a million girls
Why would I lie
Now why would I lie?

But don't fall in love
If you do you'll find out you're gonna lose
She's one in a million girls
One in a million girls
Why would I lie
Now why would I lie?

But don't fall in love
She's a beauty
She's one in a million girls
One in a million girls
Why would I lie
Now why would I lie?

THE WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

7. Private Dancer - Tina Turner

Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You don’t look at their faces
And you don’t ask their names
You don’t think of them as human
You don’t think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping you eyes on the wall.

(chorus)
I’m your private dancer
A dancer for money
I’ll do what you want me to do
I’m your private dancer
A Dancer for Money
And any old music will do.

I want to make a million dollars
I want to live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men con in these places
And the men are all the same
You don’t look at their faces
And you don’t ask their names

(chorus twice)

Deutschmarks or dollars
American Express will do nicely – thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you want to see the shimmy again.

(chorus)

[END OF ARTICLE]

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