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Life to lifeless to eternity
Life to lifeless the cycle repeats
-Killswitch Engage
Hello Cardshark readers and Magic players! This is my first article, so let me start with a quick introduction. I have been playing Magic on and off since around Ice Age. I was never very serious, until one of my good friends recently found a playgroup and began to play again. That was just before Planar Chaos, and I have not looked back since. Since my playgroup is quite large (as many as 14 people will show up), we play an extremely casual multiplayer format. All of my decks will be Vintage legal and are typically very inexpensive. Since I am most definitely a Johnny player, deck building is what drives my Magic world. I truly enjoy finding fun card interactions and spending the time to evolve a deck. Enough of that, let’s get to the deck.
The first deck I will share is “Life to Lifeless,” my False Cure deck. If any of you listen to Chewie and his dorks on The Mana Pool podcast, you will see many similarities with Brian’s False Cure deck from the “Get a Life” episode. Rest assured that I built this deck long before hearing Brian’s deck. I guess great minds think alike. Here is a rundown of the cards and why I used them.
False Cure - This is the centerpiece of the deck. There are a few important specifics about this card that must be mentioned. First, False Cure is not a replacement effect. That is, the player will gain life and then lose twice the life they gained, not simply lose the life they would have gained. That is extremely important for a later card. Second, False Cure causes a loss of life, not damage. Does your opponent have the horrid Story Circle? Are they packing the annoying Spirit of Resistance? It doesn’t matter, False Cure can still end their fun. Lastly, False Cure does not target. Is your opponent packing an Ivory Mask? A burn deck is in trouble, but not you.
So, False Cure wants your opponents to gain life eh? Let’s give them some.
Wall of Shards - Who wouldn’t take a 1/8 flying wall for 2 mana? What? There’s a drawback? You have to give an opponent a growing amount of life each turn? It fits right into your devious plan! I have also found that the Wall of Shards can help keep you free from early hate, since your opponents like the life gain. They’ll take the potential life into consideration when choosing who to attack.
Heroes’ Reunion - This card has two potential uses. First, with the False Cure, you can drop your opponent’s life by 7 for only 4 mana. Second, if you don’t use a False Cure, Heroes’ Reunion can stave off defeat by simply giving yourself 7 life.
Swords to Plowshares - One of the games best removal cards also gives your opponent life! This is a no-brainer. If you don’t have enough Swords to Plowshares, the weaker Condemn is extremely cheap and easy to find.
Grove of the Burnwillows - What a cool card! This card is great no matter what, but in a huge multiplayer game, it can win you the match. If you tap it for a green (or red, but the deck doesn’t run red) mana, you have to give each opponent 1 life. Oh darn.
Beacon of Immortality - Here is the late game finisher. Even if your opponent has eleventy billion (thanks SNL) life, False Cure with Beacon of Immortality is an instant kill. Since doubling the player’s life total counts as life gain equal to their life total, the false cure will bring them to exactly zero life every time.
Remember when I mentioned something about False Cure not being a replacement effect and that it would be important later? Well, here’s why.
Kavu Predator - Raise your hand if you’d like a 2/2 trample for 2? What if it got a permanent +1/+1 counter for every life an opponent gains? This thing gets ridiculous extremely fast. If you have 5 opponents (very common in my group) and simply tap a Grove of the Burnwillows for green mana, you now have a 7/7 trampling behemoth. These guys are routinely 30/30 plus for me. The best part is that if you’re in a serious pinch, you can Swords to Plowshares your own Kavu Predator for a ton of life.
Those are the staple cards of the deck. The following are the utility cards I use.
Isochron Scepter - What’s better than a False Cure? A False Cure on a stick, of course! With the Isochron Scepter, you can play False Cure every turn! Even better, you can activate it before your upkeep, to utilize the cumulative upkeep on the Wall of Shards for more bleeding. Another brutal combination is to put a False Cure on one Scepter and a Swords to Plowshares on another. For 4 mana, you can remove any creature from the game and bleed its controller for life equal to its power. Keep in mind that unless you opponent is packing a Stifle/Voidslime-type effect, this cannot be countered. I don’t think I’ve ever done it, but you could also put Heroes’ Reunion or Shred Memory on the Scepter.
Wayfarer’s Bauble - I absolutely have being mana screwed and this deck runs 3 colors, so mana fixing is a must. The Wayfarer’s Bauble acts as my only decent one-drop and can sit on the table until I know what color mana I will need. It’s a slightly slower rampant growth, but it requires no colored mana.
Putrefy/Mortify - I run both these for spot removal. In a large multiplayer game, there is always an enchantment or artifact that is causing some problems. These great cards will take care of that.
Shred Memory - What’s the converted mana cost of most of the key cards above? False Cure, Wall of Shards, Heroes’ Reunion, Kavu Predator, and Isochron Scepter are all 2 mana. Shred Memory can search all these cards out for one less mana than a Diabolic Tutor. An added bonus is that Shred Memory is playable without the Transmute ability. Since my playgroup has some brutal reanimator-type decks (staring down 4 Demigod’s of Revenge on turn 2 is not cool), graveyard removal can turn the tide of the game. Other, more powerful tutoring effects can replace Shred Memory if available.
Terramorphic Expanse - This is self explanatory. Color fixing is important and Terramorphic Expanse is great at it.
Add some Basic Lands, and here’s the decklist.
Creatures:
4 x Wall of Shards
4 x Kavu Predator
Artifacts:
4 x Isochron Scepter
4 x Wayfarer’s Bauble
Spells:
4 x False Cure
3 x Heroes’ Reunion
4 x Swords to Plowshares
2 x Beacon of Immortality
2 x Putrefy
2 x Mortify
4 x Shred Memory
Lands:
4 x Grove of the Burnwillows
4 x Terramorphic Expanse
6 x Swamp
5 x Forest
4 x Plains
If available, the mana base would certainly be improved with the addition of some Murmuring Bosks, Dual Lands, etc.
I also think it’s important to mention that the original theme of this deck combined the False Cure mechanism with +1/+1 counters. The first decklist had some Vinelasher Kuzdus, Fungal Behemoths, and Llanowar Reborns to drive the +1/+1 theme. Ultimately, though I loved combining the Behemoths with the Kavu Predators for some huge creatures, the deck was too unfocused. I needed more mana fixing and cards to power the False Cure, so I eliminated the +1/+1 theme. Other cards that were in this deck previously were Panoptic Mirror (free False Cure every upkeep, but ultimately too slow) and Sculpting Steel (to copy my Scepters, but I was always unhappy when I drew one, so they’re out).
Well, that’s it for my first article. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and certainly feel free to send any feedback.
Greg Gawura
gawuragr@msu.edu
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